love this story. It has good content and word use throughout. The story really grabs the reader and makes them want to read more. Only thing I think needs a little work is your structure. I liked that you broke the story up to make it easier to read but it makes separating sections of the story a little harder. Overall I would say you're doing a great job. Keep writing.
This story is really good. It's killing me that it's just a short story. I would love to know more about the old earth and the people who left it. Formatting could use a little work to space out the dialog and paragraphs so they aren't so packed together.Overall great job. Keep writing.
I really liked this story. It is dark and a little old feeling with the language which I think gives it something in regards to it's setting. I love the twist at the end, it was quite funny. There were only small things I would recommend. Some of the wording makes it hard to read through. I found I had to try and re-read a line several times to understand it. The sentence "This vile witch from depths of the unknown must have appeared to me only one evening following my twenty–first birthday." for instance doesn't quite flow well. If you remove the must from the sentence I think it would flow better and be easier to follow. Overall good job keep writing.
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