It's nice. I'd have to say that it just tells a very straightforward story. If that's what you want, it'd good. However, if it's not what you want, and you want more feeling or emotion, there need to be more descriptions. The person is on your mind - racing though it? In every thought? In your dreams even when you don't think about the person?
How do you know the person looks calm? Like melting ice cream in the summer calm? You love that person. Why? Is it tearing at your heart? What is it?
Do not use "adjectives" when nouns or verbs are needed! I can easily count the three words that should be nouns instead of adjectives. Why is there only one noun. Hair doesn't feel like an adjective. Hair feels LIKE a noun. Otherwise, it is, "his hair feels [an adjective]." His voice is like a NOUN that's been VERB PAST TENSE (just so happened my adjective worked.) Breath painted with a NOUN.
I think you may have some of these words incorrect. I'm reading the poem on a website and I know it's correct as I read it. He came out of? What? The second letter an I and the last one an E . . . and I can't find that. There are a few others I can't find, either. Some are okay. However, you really should make the clues clearer.
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