What era of war does this take place in? That was my first question when I started reading. This really does has some potential. I think if you start describing the characters in the next segment it will feel better as far as reading goes. To be honest, I didn't feel connected to anyone or a sense of danger which is something to look into. That could just be my opinion too. Either way, keep writing and I will look back and check into the next chapter.
I absolutely had a blast reading this. It was hilarious. I could see this turning into a cartoon or a movie. The character names were also hilarious and clever. Like Austin powers names. I will be looking at the next part of this on the storyshift. Keep up the good work.
I really liked this a lot. I was assuming there are more of these stories with the same characters in them? I will look more into your profile since this was a random review. I also really enjoyed the digital pictures at the end. Very creative and helps imagine the characters more too.
The story was pretty good. Almost seemed like it was going in a different direction towards the end though. I really wasn't expecting it to be like that at all. I also found a few grammar mistakes here and there. Something we all do. No worries though I still enjoyed it.
Hmmm...I really don't know what to say about this other than I instantly tout of vines crawling up someone's body and starting to clench harder and harder until they bled to death and then a woman with perfume runs for her life. That's my imagination running again. Good though
I honestly have never seen this style of writing before. It's pretty interesting and impressive with the fact that you can't use certain words and have to use other words. I don't know if I would have the skill to pull something off like this. Great job.
This poem sounds very personal. Almost as if someone died or left and isn't coming back. I wrote a poem to deal with the pain of my first marriage and I think it helped me out a lot. This is a good way to let out any emotions. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Very interesting poem. I like the style you used in this. I will be looking through your portfolio and see what other work you have to read. I will also fan you on here and hope to see more of your work in the future. I have some shorts on my page if you are ever interested in reading them. I wrote them when I was 13-14years old. Thank you.
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