I really like the honesty in the paper, it really shows the emotion you felt about her. The essay's formatting is great and there is nothing else really to do. I would indent the first paragraph since all the other are. I did find a few grammatical errors, but nothing to big it was most likely overlook, something that all writers can relate to. On the fourth sentence in the first paragraph make sure to add a comma in between her and she. There are a few more comma errors in the third paragraph that you need to check into. Also the word to need to respell as too after failure close to the end of the third paragraph. Overall this is a really good college essay and make sure to keep writing.
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