I enjoyed your work. I think in time everyone experiences the awkward feeling, when girl meet's boy. I'm so glad they found each other. I was going to rate you a 4, because your story was good. There were a few spelling mistakes and I got lost in the conversation from when they first met each other. I wasn't sure who was saying what.
Keep on writing your doing great. Dont get me wrong. you really are.
Jules1
I can't send the Money Order in U.S funds seeing I live in Australia. That's the only way I can pay for an upgraded Membership.I don't own a credit card and have no desire to do so.
Regards Jules1
Very interesting story.A tad on the dark side-my kind of tale.The twist at end got me laughing. Even though they were trying to do each other in-in the end god played a hand in their demise.
Good work
Keep Writing On
Jules1
Dear Gtuasif
HiI'm Jules1. I'm a newbie. Very interesting story. So much emotional imput.A story of a young girl who is blinded by love. She then ends up trapped in a bad relaionship and in the end has to escape. Most of us have been through that situation once or twice in our lives.
Seeing I'm a newbie-I'm always on the outlook for improvement.There is one susgestion I can point out for you.When you write the words (for eg)you are- it should be written you're.I am should be written I'm and did not should be written didn't-so on and so on.
I hope this helps. That is one susgestion I learnt in improving my puncuation. One area I'm not very big on.I finished a short story course a few months ago and I'm still trying to figure the whole process out.
PS I would love to hear from you If you've got time-go to my portfolio.
Jules1
Keep writing on
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I'm Jules1. I'm a newbie. Very interesting story. So much emotional imput.A story of a young girl who is blinded by love. She then ends up trapped in a bad relaionship and in the end has to escape. Most of us have been through that situation once or twice in our lives.