I enjoyed the concept of the poem, you truly worked on showing love between two souls in a great way.
Pacing: The pacing was a little bit off in the beginning, that second stanza was very long. You did however reign that in as the poem developed. Nice Job!
Grammatical errors: ყoυ ᥲrᥱ stιᥣᥣ bᥱsιᥱ mᥱ oᥒ thιs ᥱᥲrth.
I think you meant "you are still BESIDE me on this earth.
Only one that I saw.
The last little thing:
To sᥱᥱ ყoυ frowᥒ brιᥒgs mᥱ to grᥱᥲt dowᥒs.
ყoυr mιᥒd, ყoυr bodყ, ყoυr soυᥣ brιᥒgs mᥱ to grᥱᥲt hᥱιghts,
and when you slip, I fall harder than before.
The font's are different on the last line. Not a major thing but I thought I would share that.
Overall: I give this poem a 4 star rating. I appreciate the theme and work you put into it.
That was beautifully written and well thought out. I enjoyed the flow and the message in the poem. Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts with me and the rest of the world!!
I enjoyed the first part of this story. I am intrigued with Rick Borden and why he is being summoned to El Ka-hone. I have a feeling this isn't going to be a basic private detective job.
The second section, where Gabriel Goldstein is murdered had me asking how does a guy move that quick to stab an armed guy. I am really looking forward to seeing how that plays out.
I gave the review because I read it and I do look forward to more. Sorry it's just a basic review and not my full fledged on.
This was a very well written piece of poetry. I enjoyed the rhyming sequence which I thought was spot on. That sequence is not an easy one by any way shape or form. The overall meaning was carried out and I would feel myself being immersed as I read each line. Thank you for a great poem.
Being a veteran and reading that poem, it brought a tear to my eye. That was very emotional and powerful. The thought that went into that is amazing!! I enjoyed every line but the enjoyment was in a sad but thankful way.
If I could give you 10 stars I would. I have enclosed 100 gift points and hope you continue to write with the same power as you did in this poem.
I have to admit, YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD!!! When I first started to read this I felt as though Jane was going to be the one who didn't want grandma to dictate what they would do in their marriage, but then BANG, you hit me with:
Which was exactly what they thought would happen, when she, and his grandmother, came up with the plan.
It made the whole read wortwhile. 5 stars!!! Thank you
This poem had a lot to offer in a very confined space. It made me feel that you had one person in mind, someone who may have hurt you. In the end I felt the flow was good and the theme was great. I will give you 4 stars and will look to read more of your work.
The poem's central idea revolves around the intersection of the mundane and the imaginative, highlighting how overlooked details in our everyday environment can inspire thoughts of exploration and adventure. The subject matter focuses on the imagery of a drive, where small, unremarkable patches of cement evoke thoughts of distant lands and the possibility of discovery.
Language
The poem's word choice is descriptive, creating vivid imagery. Phrases like "careless shovel," "tiny islands," and "asphalt ocean" mix the ordinary with the extraordinary, suggesting that beauty and wonder can be found in everyday life. Literary devices such as metaphors are prevalent; the "asphalt ocean" compares the road to a vast sea, while the "archipelagos" symbolize the scattered patches of cement.
Overall
Very well-written and descriptive it gave me the feeling of being right there on the road with you.
Reader's Reaction: What a great story, I had no idea how this was going to end, what a pleasant surprise.
Characters/Dialog: I enjoyed Madame Hecate, she stared off as a charlatan but ended up being a hero. The dialogue was perfect for the story.
Emotion/tone/Atmosphere: The story started with me feeling like Madame Hecate should be arrested for fraud but as the story continue I felt that she actually believed in the occult. Great job on that presentation.
Plot & Pace: I thought the plot was well laid out and the pace of the story was good. Just enough ebb and flow to keep me reading.
Structure/plot/setting & Imagery: I felt like I was at the fair and I would picture the little tent where she would do her work.
Favorite Lines: "Oh My God", Hecate thought with disdain, "just another sucker to play with.
This line resonated with me, this is what made me think she was a charlatan. Great job!
Overall Impression/Conclusion: This was a very well crafted and well written story. the beginning hooked me, the middle gave me a little depth and the end made me appreciate Madame Hecate.
I didn't find any spelling or grammatical errors in the story.
I enjoyed this poem and the powerful message it sent. The opening was very thought provoking;
I choose You
You choose Me
We choose Us
We, together, are unstoppable
The line, "We choose us" really resonated with me.
The overflow was great, I was able to read it through once without having to stop to reread. I am giving this 5 stars and will look forward to reading more from you.
I enjoyed your poem. It flowed smoothly for the most part but there were a few spots where I had to stop and reread. Not sure if that deliberate or not.
A declaration,
a choice to rejoice.
The rhythm carries
me along,
This was where I stumbled. Other than that I felt this was a good poem with a powerful message.
This was a very well written piece of poetry. I enjoyed the theme and the pace of the work. I was fulfilled in only 8 lines which is a testament to your story telling.
I didn’t find any spelling or grammatical errors in the work. Overall I loved it and will look forward to more of your work. Thank you
You met the task of the stanzas and sequences. I loved the first line, “Retirement is at hand” I was curious as to where you were going to take me and I thoroughly enjoyed the journey.
Overall this was a very nicely written poem that captured the essence of “That was 2024”. Thank you
Overall nice concept. The only grammatical error I see is in the 6th sentence “whose been so many places” maybe add “whose been to so many places” just a thought. Other than that I thought it was a smooth read! Thank you for a nice poem and enjoy. Happy new year.
I have to admit, you put a lot of thought and effort into what I just read. I may just look to see how the story unravels. Not really my thing but great concept and creativity
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