This poem gets a 5-star rating from me for sure. You are quite the poet, I've read some of your other poems and they are great as well. I'm really sorry about the loss of your sister. I know it must have been hard for you. I almost felt like crying when I read this; I recently experienced a death as well, although not someone as close as a sibling. Keep writing, keep expressing yourself!
Well done! This was a great read - I heard about this a few month's back when it was on the news, but I didn't know much about what happened. Thanks for filling in all of the details. You told me what happened and even went beyond what I expected from this editorial - you definitely did your research on this one! I'm looking forward to reading your next draft. I didn't see any corrections that I can help you on, no spelling errors at least. (I'm not that great in grammar.)
An awesome poem. I had to read this after I saw it was an awarded item. I now can see why it was! Your words created a wonderful winter scene in my head. It's the perfect poem for this time of year; as I'm writing this, it's snowing outside. Great job, and keep writing!
I think this piece of writing did what you had wanted to accomplish, and it was good. Although, I do feel it could have been a little longer. That's just my opinion, however.
I did find some errors. You need to insert a space after some of your commas.
"It must be,or only agony remains." Another nod,and the doctor injected relief.
should be:
"It must be, or only agony remains." Another nod, and the doctor injected relief.
It could have gone a *little* bit more in detail, but all in all it was a good super short.
Well, that was different. I don't think I've ever seen poetry written like that before, but then again I don't get a chance to read it that often. What is this particular style called (if it has a name)?
Anyway, I didn't find any spelling errors, so I don't really have any suggestions for you. I'd say you did a good job, I'm honestly very bad at poetry and wouldn't have been able to do something like this.
Oh, before I submit, I wanted to say that I really like your pen handle, too. Heh...
Wow, that was sure a twist at the end of the story. I never would have thought that she would have done something like that.
A great story, very well written. I didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors. The only thing I would suggest is that you could tell us a little more about the narrator and the other characters. There was no dialogue, maybe you could add some as a sort of flashback of what happened when the bandages were pulled off.
Those are just my opinions. All in all, it was a very great story. Keep writing!
Good story. I know it was written a long time ago, but I wanted to read and review it anyway. I'm surprised at how few short stories fall under the Sports category.
I didn't find many spelling or grammatical errors, but there were some. You can go back and correct them if you want, but since the story is over two years old, I'm not sure if it matters much.
A thin boy sat quietly in the middle of bus. - I think you left out the word "the".
A thin boy sat quietly in the middle of the bus.
"At least you didn’t get pinned," Kevin said. - You mispelled his name here. In all other parts of the story it is spelled "Keven".
Haha, well that was entertaining. Being from Pennsylvania, this short story appealed to me because Punxatawny Phil is the big thing here in February.
I didn't find any spelling or grammatical errors, this was really well written. I thought it could have been a bit longer, but it's titled a short story for a reason, right?
Excellent short story. I love running so this really entertained me. I would have given you a 5.0, but there's just one thing that I think you need to fix before the story is perfect. Everything seems a bit cramped together, I would recommend spacing your paragraphs. However, that's just my opinion.
Nice article. I never thought about saving my own template, I suppose it would be much easier than typing everything out all of the time.
The Positives: I did not find any noticeable spelling errors or grammatical errors, which gives me the impression that you proofread before submitting the article. I think it should be very helpful to the new members who want to know how to give better reviews.
The Negatives: It's not a big deal, but you only need to write 250 characters in order to get Auto-Reward Points, not 250 words.
Overall, the article was helpful to me but I feel it could have been a bit longer or more informative. However, that's just my opinion.
Wow, that was a great. I wasn't sure whether or not I would like the story at first, as I usually don't read horror/scary fiction. However, I could relate to Brian in quite a few ways (but not in every way), I guess that's why I enjoyed it so much.
Some Positives: 1) I don't think I found many grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, if any at all. 2) You pulled me into the story right away. 3) Let's just say that the ending wasn't what I had expected! After I finished reading, I realized that I had missed the clues that you threw in there -- for example, it's obvious now why Brian doesn't like the moon!
The Negatives: 1) I think the story could have used a few more characters. The characters that were a part of the story were all very descriptive, for the most part. However, I was hoping that the story would go on for a bit longer and that we would get to meet a few more people. I can't really think of any other negatives.
There's not much else to say other than to keep writing and nice job!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jsbulldog89
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 2:30pm on Nov 23, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
Your words created a wonderful winter scene in my head. It's the perfect poem for this time of year; as I'm writing this, it's snowing outside. Great job, and keep writing!