\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/joycez
Review Requests: OFF
5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of WEEKEND WARRIORS  Open in new Window.
Review by JoyceZ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
The only correction: though to thought (dumb spell checker it is a word after all). This is the second item I've read of yours. Again, it hits home. My husband started as a "Weekend Warrior" in the Navy then along came Vietnam. Not all of us cried at departures...raised by a stalwart German Marine one never cried in public. I appreciate the fact that the time and place can be any time, any place in the last 50 years. I like that you pointed out that many of our warriors are women. Members of the National Guard can have whole families called up. Mother, father, grandfather, daughters and sons of a family called up at the same time. Maybe I would add something about neighbors and/or friends who are veterans not in hospitals. My personal observations...some still have "injuries" that don't show but they still need our respect and concern. Thank you for sharing a well written piece.
2
2
Review by JoyceZ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Re-read 3 times. 1st = Awe, 2nd=Sadness, 3rd=Power (yours). Can I relate, yes in my own way. I come from a long line of military men and women. Though I never served in the military, I served as family... granddaughter, daughter, niece, wife, cousin. I appreciate how you brought this through time with the different warriors' perspectives. I heard voices from the past and saw the clash of conflict. Lines, 10, 12, 14, 15 and 16 especially hit home. Ancestors were with Von Steuben, Lee, Devil Dogs in Germany, in the skies of Normandy, Guadalcanal and Chosin Frozen, Tet, Khe Sanh, and the Tonkin Gulf. Thank you, and thank you for sharing this.
3
3
Review by JoyceZ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
The title drew my interest first. I'm not a spag expert. So won't critique grammar, etc. The plot is interesting. If he had experienced the destruction of his friend, maybe "he was ready for battle (instead of war). I believe Rommel still held the Normandy Coast under his command, so how would the soldier know he was gone? (Rommel committed suicide in 1944 after the plot to assassinate Hitler) ) This part was a bit confusing...on the eve of battle and then to 3rd paragraph...today is June 5, 1944. What were the smells on the boat, fear, sweat??? The door on a Higgins boat was called a bow ramp (USMC brat here, military junk drilled into me). You might change it to read...the boat's bow ramp dropped, everything went wrong. Or something like that? I think you can really flesh this out. There aren't many WWII vets left but you might want to interview someone who experienced an amphibious invasion. I think the plot has a lot of potential and could actually follow the soldier through the invasion.
3 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/joycez