What I like and why. This is a very touching story. That poor little girl. This approaches a subject that too many people have to face. I was lucky enough to get two parents that had learned hard lessons about alcohol and never drank. My mother's told me stories of her own father getting drunk and trying to run his wife and children over in his car.
I like that you have written something that proves that consequences of our actions often affect us in ways we could never guess, and too often affect the innocent.
Suggestions. The spacing throws me off a little. Also, at one point, I have a little difficulty telling who is actually speaking.
“Amanda, go to bed. NOW!”
“Don’t force that child to go to bed. She can stay up if she wants to. She’s a big girl now."
"Aren’t you Amanda? Come and sit on Daddy's knee.”
“Amanda, go to bed. I said NOW!"
" Leave that poor girl alone, she did nothing to deserve this.”
“Shut up woman! She is my daughter and wants to give her daddy some love. Nothing wrong with that. Now come over here and give daddy a kiss.”
Thank you for writing a very interesting piece to read.
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I was surprised to find how little coffee and cigarettes improved my writing.
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