I'm a really big fan of alliterations and this poem made me so happy. The dashing words that is sprinked with thoughtfulness and imagination has entertained me throughout the poem. Imagery's on point and for a free-meter poem, it flows so sweetly. Three verses, 12 lines, and it tells a story in each phrase. Amazing!
Aside from the technical stuff, it's kind of refreshing to see someone so positive about your current relationship with your ex-girlfriend. I can see that you are happy with it, even as to something that is commonly attributed with "heart-breaking", "bitter", or anything negative really. I'm happy for you two and wish you luck for a better future with your bonding relationship. :D
This is a really nice poem! Although some rhymes and parts of the story seemed too cliche, the poem works perfectly fine. I love silly and ridiculous stories. While this one doesn't really hits the fan, it's enough for it to be a fine experience. The storytelling is good. The thoughts that swarmed through the poem really works well to build up your story from getting a silly top hat to having a relationship. The ending really makes up for the poem. Because of some small little thing like a top hat, it can change your entire life for the better. It's a nice theme overall.
In conclusion, rhymes and plots are kind of cliche, but I still give 4 stars for the theme, storytelling and the ending.
Albeit it's a meaningful poem, it lacks the punch and subtlety of a person being lost, as it is too simple. This poem doesn't strike me like other poems and it just come of as kind of lazy. This is your first poem on this site so I'll try help you a bit . You can improve here by learning the words: "SIMPLICITY" and "SUBTLETY".
Simplicity is not someting that is too easy. You decorate it with little space and with little materials, yet it preserves its beauty and brilliance through each time. You have to think about what you are writing that you think is so simple that it can be explained in just a few words. Explain it artistically. For example, replace the word "path" with "paper", "God" with "writer", and "you" as the "ink":
"Imagine a writer who continuously writes anything. If the writer holding a pen is on a phase of creative block, obviously the ink will be going nowhere. Yet as time goes by, when the writer has a clear mind, the ink that the writer leaves will soon to be legible enough for anyone to appreciate it."
You can see that it displays the message better than your poem without even plainly mentioning it. Plus, it produces more minds to think about some other hidden messages that the poem is trying to communicate. Simplicity conveys the message so subtlety that you wouldn't see it on the first read. Speaking of subtlety...
Subtlety is another trait a good poet should had in his/her poems. You need to keep your message from plain sight. This is a way for the message to pack a punch for the readers and it will be much more enjoyable to read.
Imagine playing hide and seek with your message and the reader. It will be no fun if the reader already catches the message after he/she's done counting because it is literally right behind him and he/she can only turn around to win. It will also be no fun if the reader cannot even find the message if it's abstractly hidden so well that even the greatest detective can't even find it. So, make your poem away from plain sight and hidden enough for the readers to catch on what you are trying to say.
I'm really sorry for giving a low rating and a bad opinion, but that's what I feel right now and I hope that you will take my advice for future poem writing. This is not a review that will crush your dreams of being a good writer or anything, as I encourage you to improve and to be one of the best of the best writers in our world. So, good luck! :)
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