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319 Public Reviews Given
320 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Thank you for posting your work.
Let me suggest a surprise ending.
"And he lived happily ever after"
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2
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
It is a good poem but very sad. I liked it from the first stanza with it's evil portents for a terrible ending. The references to a beloved child were very effective in creating the sense of a good life wasted. The picture of a "plain" girl trying to prove herself was nicely drawn in the second stanza. Over-all a complex story told well in a very few words.

One quibble: I just did not like this line,"keeping ears muffled to mama's hollers." The rhyme sounded forced.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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3
Review of Yellow light  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
A brave and touching love letter to us all, a reminder that a life well lived requires us not only to be wise but brave as well. I liked the second paragraph most of all, it is wriiten with a powerfull elegance that touched my heart. I detected a deep yearning to find a greater love that dwells beyond the superficial.

Well done.

My only quibble is that I find the use of a traffic light as a comparison for the human condition a bit tired and over used.

John
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Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
"That suffocating iron smell..." This line kept me reading as it made clear that the writer knew what they spoke of. I have encountered that over-whelming stench of rust as a corpsman in the USN. It is something you never forget. This work does not disappoint. Gruesome, with a good measure of suspense, makes for a tightly wound piece of writing.

Now all that is needed is the rest of the story.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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5
5
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
A lot to think about here and that is good. Modern technology leaves us rethinking much of our lifestyle. Is it really rude to text constantly when out at dinner? I would say yes, but that simple example of good manners has yet to catch up with an age where we place our faith entirely in personal, portable, self serving, devices, forgetting the humanity that created it all. Yet, it is best to remember we are at the birth of the technological age and I think it will work out for the best... eventually.

A well written and thought provoking piece.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh, the sweet memories of childhood. I am always amazed at the clarity of your imagery and this work is no exception. I am on that beach and riding in that bouncy Land Rover. I have a particular attraction to the places where the land meets the sea and this poem brought me right to that place where children dance in the waves. The rhyme and rhythm roll and fly reflecting that enthusiastic joy that only a child knows.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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7
Review of Old Leafy Lane  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked this poem from line one. The description of the main character is magical and done with an appealing economy of words. It is beautiful with all it's wondrous imagery and depth of feeling. Within your words I could feel all the pain and joy of a life well lived.

The structure and rhyme are flawless to my ear, I cannot think of anything that's needs editing.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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8
8
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Christmas is the season of second guessing as this poem clearly points out. The piece contemplates the selfish and the selfless aspects of the holiday season. Perhaps it is not possible to do anything else in such a complicated season. We are only human after all.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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9
Review of The ABC's  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a very fun poem to read and despite its limitations it manages to say a lot. It starts off with a playful erotic demeanor which changes bit by bit to a dramatic melancholy note. It is fascinating to read the carefully chosen words as they tell a tale in alphabetical order.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of End of Days  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
A touching poem of that long stretch of days that precedes us and goes forth beyond our vision. I can feel the passion that transcends all the years and exists for those who are lucky enough to know a love such as this. Unbreakable, everlasting, a summers dream in winter.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of Final Hours  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Oh, this is a tough one. Hideous is a word that comes to mind but I think you achieved what you were aiming for. The grotesque can be hard to capture without sounding trite but this short essay accomplishes it with enthusiasm. A very hard read indeed. I believe it deserves a story around it.

I hope you did well in the contest.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of Rejoicing  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
My favorite line, "We are never alone." A easy concept but a difficult one to keep close to ones heart. And now let us rejoice that we are never alone. It is not always easy to see the joys of life when the darkness hangs over us. This short essay is a poignant reminder to make the most of every day.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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13
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am quite fond of metaphors but I suppose an overabundance of any good thing turns it sour. I loved the choice of examples and quotes given, they were nicely illuminating of the whole subject. Delicately used I believe a inventive metaphor is often one of the finest things in our language.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Poor Cliche'  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Who knew all those clichés could be arranged into a wonderful poem that reads so well. Rhyme to rhythm its all good and very educational too. These well worn words lack the youthful grace to be part of our modern discourse but they seem to thrive on none-the-less, perhaps there is some beauty to them that we just cannot let go.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of Speed Bumps  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
AH, nicely done. I don't think we are old at fifty five but what is left of our youth appears to be fading faster than ever before. Perhaps age sixty just seems to be more ominous than the turning of the odometer to fifty. The last paragraph sums up the truth of the matter, keep going right straight ahead. This is no time to worry, bring on a new wonderful life of years well lived.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Rapunzel  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A fine piece of work. I suspected a surprise ending was in store but all my predictions proved wrong. The structure of the story kept me guessing. The bits of comedy made for an easy read and I had to read on and on till I found out how it would all turn out. Now I hope that she will remove that glorious beard, just a personal preference.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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17
Review of Rapunzel  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A fine piece of work. I suspected a surprise ending was in store but I was wrong in all my predictions. The structure of the story kept me reading on and on to see how it all would turn out. The bits and pieces of comedy made for a fun read and I was glad to find out they lived happily ever after. But what happened to the beard? Did she shave it off? I hope so, just a personal preference.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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18
Review of Overflow  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A beautiful contemplative piece concerning Gods love. It is a gentle reminder of the joys of a loving life where that love is given freely with no requirement of payment. It is all to easy to get caught up in our society where everything is done in expectation of personal, often material, rewards.



John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
19
19
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very well done. One does not see many history based poems these days and this one is special. It points out how illogical racism is and what fine citizens America's Black population has been. Many oppressed minorities fought valiantly for America in all her wars, maybe they know something that most of us do not.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of Bangaround  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I m not sure I know what it all means but it has a beauty and haunting style that attract me. It appears to be very sad, someone lost and alone walks through these terse verses thus creating a very poignant piece of poetry. Another word that come to mind is desolation. I wonder if I have it right.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of i was here  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
A lot said here in a tangle of images and feelings that define the tangled zeitgeist of our age. A clash of generations where the twentieth century meets the twenty first. New wars in new places amidst the revolution of communication, transport, and injury. How does one say "I was here" in such a time and place.
This piece left me thinking.

Well written and executed.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
22
22
Review of By The Sea  Open in new Window.
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem captures nicely the ineffable beauty of the great water, its rhythms and rhymes and deepest secrets. I could feel the wind and smell the salt. The awesome power of the sea comes forth very clearly. My favorite stanza is the last, poignant and startling.

Well done.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
A wonderful set of poems. I enjoyed reading them all. "Depression" is the one I liked the best with "The Dragon and Man" a close runner up.

"Depression" really captures the dreadful existence encountered in that awful place. The poem brings forth the lonely existence of one so afflicted. It is a very moving piece and poignant. It seems we are almost powerless to confront the thing or to master it.

This selection of your work left me deep in thought.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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24
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A nice piece of crime drama. The main characters are illustrated to best effect and the plot is interesting and well directed. A heavy shroud of science fiction covers the entire story. There is a feeling that these characters are not operating in the same world as we.

Like many short stories this one seems to beg for another chapter.

John

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25
25
Review by Jonn Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A nice tightly written short story that wants a novel to back it up. How can we be introduced to such intriguing characters and not be left wanting more. Woven through out the plot is an air of mystery and foreshadowing for greater things to come. So where is part two?

John

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