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Review of I Met Mr. C.  Open in new Window.
Review by JoJoGold Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for your invitation to review your story.

As I read through the first time a few things I caught:
"He was but two and a half years old but could remember his stocking with candy, nuts and a small orange and a little farm set complete with tiny animals." While grammatically correct, the double use of the word "but" (to me) is a little awkward. I suggest replacing the 2nd with 'and' -- this gives more substance to his wonderful memory.

Halley's Comet passed Earth in 1910. Mr. C would have been ~4 years old. This is a wonderful memory, but stretches credibility a little. Maybe push back his birthday a year or two, making him about 6 at the time of passage. A couple of paragraphs later, you write about his memories of the Titanic disaster, he was 6 at the time of that tragedy and it is a believable memory.

Writing about fixed dates and weaving a fictional character in and out of history is a delicate thing. You've done remarkably well!!

Very well written, and I was left wishing for more. Mr. C. lived a full and wonderful life and was at least an along-side witness to many of the great and terrible events of the 20th Century.
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