Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear and any comments will be in orange
dribbled her basketball in the driveway in front of her house.
dribbled her basketball in front of her house.
You already mentioned it was on the driveway so I don't think you need to repeat it.
It is a tale told by an idiot", Tracy paused and scrunched up her face," it is a tale told by an idiot. . .Darn," she said breaking out of character.
It is a tale told by an idiot," Tracy paused and scrunched up her face. "It is a tale told by an idiot. . .Darn," she said breaking out of character.
When ending speech, the punctuation mark should go inside of the quotation mark. Likewise when starting a new piece of speech, it generally starts with a capital letter.
"you should have that one printed on a t-shirt," but she smiled in spite of herself.
"You should have that one printed on a t-shirt." She smiled in spite of herself.
The beginning of the speech should start with a capital here and at the end, as it's not a speech tag that tells the reader how something is said, it should be closed with a full stop and the next sentence starts with a capital.
"Thanks," the two girls high-fived.
"Thanks." The two girls high-fived.
This is an action tag so the speech ends with a full stop and then it begins again with a capital.
She let the rain stream down her hair, the back of her t-shirt and splashed it between her toes.
She let the rain stream down her hair, the back of her t-shirt and it splashed between her toes.
She doesn't make the rain splash her, the rain does it, so I would suggest changing this slightly.
"She's not allowed to take presents from strangers, said Tracy and immediately realized her mistake.
"She's not allowed to take presents from strangers," said Tracy and immediately realized her mistake.
You were just missing the closing quotation marks here.
"In the next few days," you will witness some extremely remarkable events.
"In the next few days you will witness some extremely remarkable events.
You don't need the closing quotation marks here as he's still speaking.
Then Mother noticed that Amanda was trying hard to giggle.
Then Mother noticed that Amanda was trying hard not to giggle.
I think there's a missing word here.