I like how the setting is gradually revealed in this. The names of the characters are humorous and things began to make more sense as the story progressed. I guess the character's names sound like Viking names, but with your own vernacular flavor. Nicely done. I clocked the clue that Hiccup's mother had died before it was explicitly stated. It's good to help the reader feel like they are figuring stuff out. Some typos and it reads a bit clunky at times - Read it out loud and you will feel where it could read more smoothly. I think this piece needed a better ending, but not a different one (presuming this is a stand-alone piece). Think in terms of the ending of a song or a punchline to a joke - leave something to reveal right at the end.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jimbo-bassman
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 8:25am on Nov 23, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
