*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jim-d/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/8
Review Requests: ON
3,170 Public Reviews Given
3,218 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual for the most part. I will point out errors I see and offer suggested corrections. I like to focus on the content and formatting of the item. I love providing helpful comments and feedback that may improve the item if acted on.
I'm good at...
I like to provide suggestions to the author on things I see that may need a second look. I'm not afraid to do a little research to verify a poem's format, or the contents of a story (if requested).
Favorite Genres
Mystery, Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, and Suspense
Least Favorite Genres
Honestly, I will read anything if asked. I just prefer those listed above.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novellas, books (though a review of that may take days/weeks due to my schedule), Poetry of any format.
Least Favorite Item Types
I find non-structured poetry difficult to review, unless there is a short disclaimer about this non-structure that would help in understanding the reason it's in that particular format.
I will not review...
I'm not interested in Vore, In and Out's, Growing/Shrinking, or other items that are similar to one of these.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 4 5 6 7 -8- 9 10 11 12 13 ... Next
176
176
Review of Earthship  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Marie,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 6th WDC Anniversary!

         Earthships have long interested me. I was in New Mexico (grew up there actually), on a business trip, and visited the Taos Earthship community. It was quite the experience to see one of these in person, and hear their discussion on building one. What I especially remember, is that the houses use the available 4 times. You mention it here a little bit, but seeing it, watching it, was phenomenal!

         This is pretty well done, but I do find myself wondering where you learned of this; what this essay is based on. You should review your second to last paragraph carefully. Here's one thing. For example, there have been people who created their own their own devices

         I agree with you wholeheartedly though, I think this is the home we need to look into living in. It blends in with the environment, and definitely reuses energy as much as it can. This was an interesting read, thank you for sharing!





Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
177
177
Review of Tearful Goodbye's  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Roybe,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

         Wow, you really know how to hit someone in the gut, don't you? My other half and I lost our Akita to something with her hips about 11-12 years ago. One day she walked normally, the next, the hips wouldn't work, back legs just dragged behind her. We had a couple of vets look at her, had some tests run, but to no avail. I feel for you and your loss, and can commiserate.

         This is well written, and at one point, I thought your main character was dying, and the voice was someone calling to him as he lay there already dead. Your ending was a little bit of a shock, but it still hit hard.

         A hard hitting story of love for a dog. Wonderful read. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
178
178
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey NoMonster,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

         You're absolutely correct in your assessment at the beginning of your small story. What we do here on Earth has no great purpose, in the big picture of things. However, what we do here on Earth has great purpose overall. Our lives are very short when you think about it. Longer than some, shorter than some. Are we more sentient/intelligent? By our standards we are. What's to say we're right though? I love the idea that other creatures are intelligent, maybe more so than us, but in different ways. Maybe we're not the 'King Of The Jungle, huh.

         I like this story. The idea that a little girl taking the time to pet your dog created a moment in time for them both. Did they forget it quickly? Or did it remain in their minds, subdued, but simmering. Moments of kindness may not be significant to us, or in the overall scheme of things. Then again, suppose they are?



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
179
179
Review of Little Green Men  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Davy,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

         This is a pretty cute story, but it left me pondering a bit. It's a cute story, one that can't be taken seriously it seems. That's not meant to be a derogatory comment either.

         What I mean by not taking the story seriously is this. If little green men appeared anywhere in America, there would be crowds of people converging on them. There's no way a couple could engage them in conversation. And we haven't begun to think about how the government would handle their arrival. It would be chaos all around in my opinion.

         I found their conversation with the aliens to be a bit entertaining, almost funny at times. I can't imagine trying to explain the concept of 'knowing' to another person, let alone an alien from another planet!

         I did see one small thing you might want to look at, should you decide to edit this.


1.  â€śDo we not encounter the same problem, though?” queries No. 1. How do you define social usefulness? Does knowing whether the sky is blue have any practical applications?” Missing open quotation marks before 'How'.

         It's a cute story, you categorize it as fiction and philosophy. I found it to be cute, and wonder about listing comedy also? It might be tongue-in-cheek comedy, but still, it is a bit amusing. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
180
180
Review of Panic  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Irelynkiss
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 19th WDC Anniversary!

         This is very short, but very good. You say you're attempting to describe what happens during a panic attack. I think you've done a good job doing so. For me, the last line is perfect. I think we've all had panic attacks at one time or another. We survive, but does the experience mar us? I don't think we can allow it to, otherwise we're nothing but a beaten lump of flesh.

         As much as I like this, I do have a couple of suggestions for it.

1. For something like this, center it on the page. Capitalize the first word of each line. (Personal preference).

2. You need more than two commas and one period for this.

3. I would change the description slightly. Attempting to describe what happens during a panic attack. Change it to Attempting to describe what I experience during a panic attack.


         A well written piece, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
181
181
Review of June 6--Frog  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Nikola,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 16th WDC Anniversary!

         This is really very good! I find Flash Fiction difficult to write, so finding something this short, yet still relaying a compelling story is a treat. That takes a special touch if you ask me.

         Here we have Tess, a young girl who talks to a frog. Al seems normal, until you segue to the time when she's a woman, and has just finished drawing a picture of her and a frog. I could see it coming a little, but I still loved the shift in time.

         Thank you for sharing this unique story, it was a treat for me.




Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
182
182
Review of My Psalm  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey ruwth,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 11th WDC Anniversary!

         I've not read many Psalms, but the ones I've read are beautiful. This one joins them, very well done my friend! The flow, your phrasing, everything about it makes it so. Your love of your Lord is on the page as you read it, there's no mistaking it.

         This is a beautiful poem, I mean Psalm. Everyone should read this, experience love like this. Thank you for sharing.



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use
183
183
Review of Dynamic Duo  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Winklett,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 17th WDC Anniversary!

         This is pretty cute, though the ending didn't seem to fit the rest of it in some ways. I loved the dialog between two friends, pretty sure I've been there myself in something like that. Seems they can't please each other when it comes to pretending to be someone. If one was male, and one female, they probably shouldn't get married. *Laugh* Then again, maybe they should.

         The problem with the end, is that I agree with the one character, Emily Dickinson and Emily Post aren't a couple, and every other 'pretense' of theirs involved couples. The second thing is, it left us hanging. There's one couple that you could have used too. But then, I'm older, so maybe you aren't aware of exactly how talented they were. Abbot & Costello. Oh wait, you used mainly characters from shows, not real people. I guess what I'm saying, is it would have been nice to choose a final couple for them, and have them finally agree on who's who! *Smile* Still, it's a cute story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use
184
184
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey SteeperEel,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 5th WDC Anniversary!

         I prefer to send a nice review for the most part, especially for an Anniversary. I'm sorry to say I can't do this for your story. I'm not going into particulars on this, my review would be longer than your story. If I may though, I'd like to give you a bullet list of things you might want to look at.

         1. This needs some amount of dialog.

         2. Show, don't tell. All you do here is tell us the story, you do not show us anything at all to help us see what's going on.

         3. Proper English! I saw a few places (3-4) where the wrong word was used. The one that comes mind without going through the whole thing, is quite, instead of quiet.

         4. Proper English! (Again) Some of your sentences are poorly phrased, some do not make sense.

         5. Every story has a beginning, a middle where the plot is built, and an end. I realize that this is only chapter 1, a beginning, but this really lacks.


         I could go on with more, but I won't, it's your Anniversary. I hope you have a happy one, and continue to work to improve your writing skills.




Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
185
185
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Annie,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 14th WDC Anniversary!

         I don't think any American who will forget what happened that dreadful day. Unless they were less than 3 years of age or so.

         I was at work when this occurred, and one of my early thoughts was, "How many planes do they have in the air that they can do this with?" You wrote this very well, it was easy to see your emotions that day. It was a day I know I'll never forget.

         I think any one who reads this will find themselves there with you. I've visited the 9/11 Memorial in NYC, as well as the Flight 93 Memorial in Pennsylvania. Tissues are a must when visiting those two sites. Very nicely written, thank you for sharing! Loved that last paragraph!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
186
186
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Wizard,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 10th WDC Anniversary!

         This is cute, and so very true. It's amazing what one person can do if they stand up for something they believe in. We are all like this, not just this small boy. Each of us imagines things when we're stressed. Well, at least I do. Or we imagine things we'd love to do, or heroes we'd love to be. Yep, I'm a kid at heart. Nice story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
187
187
Review of Desert Rose  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Turtle,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 9th WDC Anniversary!

         A story of an every day occurrence that few in America are really aware of. I think most American's minds are shielded from the idea of this happening. If/when they do consider it, they don't think of it in the terms you describe so well in your story. They think of someone walking over the border, dressed decently well. They don't think of people dying of dehydration, clothes in tatters, some never making it. Sadly, many have no idea of the reality of trying to get here.

         Your story flows well, it kept me glued to my screen, but as good as it is, I found myself wishing for more dialog. What it really is a wish for, is a little bit longer story. I wanted to know where the woman and her child went, or ended up. I wanted to know their story, where they came from, and why they would risk their lives to get to this country.

         I did see one small thing you may want to consider, should you decided to edit this.

1. I held out my arm to her, braced my hand upon he elbow. I think he should be her.


         An enlightening read, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
188
188
Review of Working Novel  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Shameless,
         I saw that you had posted something, and wanted to stop by for a look.

         I think the biggest thing right now, for me at least, is the font. It tends to blend the lines together making it a little difficult to keep at it. Not bad, but it's a distraction. Secondly, and very minor. Every paragraph is indented except the first. I'm not sure if you used the indent command in writingml or not, but here it is for you, just in case. {indent} Type it exactly as you see it, brackets and all, the first line becomes indented a set amount.

         Read through this yourself. There are a couple of minor errors. They instead of the (fifth paragraph, fourth line) is an example. Your second sentence reads a bit off, and seems confusing. Mark toggled between cameras in his dark office lit only by the colored monitors in front of him. A possible rewording? Mark's office was dark, lit only by the colored monitors in front of him. He used the KVM switch to move between cameras mounted in the store, his attention rapt on his duty. (In case you don't know, a KVM switch is used to move between multiple monitors, allowing you to look at the screen of one computer, then another.

         You might want to give a little background on what Mark does, kind of an introduction to the story. Nice start, now keep it going!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
189
189
Review of Death Becomes Him  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Dr. Taher,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 17th WDC Anniversary!

         I sort of knew where this was going as I read the first paragraph. That didn't stop me from enjoying it one bit. It's cute, almost funny, and enjoyable to read. It does seem a bit strange that they would have a BBQ on a wooden ship though. Imagine what would happen, how fast that ship would be fully engulfed in flames! Just the same, this was good. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
190
190
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Carol,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 13th WDC Anniversary!

         Forgive me for being late with these wishes!


         This is very cute, I loved it! Limericks are something I love, but have not written much. Add to it, you tell a coherent story in writing this making it all the more appealing to me. The topper though, was the list of the cast at the end. That was excellent, making the poem even better.

         I wouldn't call this poem perfect, I'm sure those who know English far better than I do could find something to pick at, but I sure couldn't. Excellent read, thank you for sharing!




Jim


P.S. Are you anywhere near Philly now? I will be there in three weeks for a class with the Federal Protective Service, part of DHS.


*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use
191
191
Review of I Am Jellyfish  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Jenny, er, Jellyfish!
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 7th WDC Anniversary!

         This is very cute! I love experimenting in writing, learning new ways to express myself in words, or emoticons even. Seriously though, this is a nice read. Pure dialog, and you pulled it off very nicely. That's not easy to do really. At least not consistently.

         This flows well as I've implied or said. But I really enjoyed the small twist, followed by her reaction and correction of the twist. I mean the part where the interviewer tells you that you're addicted to WDC and wants to you to change. Then the second twist, where you write her out of the interview. Loved that! Excellent read, thank you for sharing!


Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
192
192
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Jack,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 1st WDC Anniversary!

         Okay, this isn't really your first WDC birthday. After all, you've been a part of Writing.com since the day you were born! Still, Happy Anniversary!


         This is cute, and just what I think a young man your age is thinking about. At least you didn't spend that billion dollars in one day, and still have a lot you could do with the rest! Think about that, huh! Keep this, don't edit it. Years from now, look back at it, and see how much you've grown and matured. *Smile*





Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
193
193
Review of self-delusion  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Mindcrime,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 17th WDC Anniversary!

         Your backstory really set this up. Then you read the poem. So few words, so many words not on the page that say so much. Wow. You leave it to our imaginations to add images. Loved that. Thank you for sharing!




Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
194
194
Review of Little Monsters  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your WDC Anniversary!

         You really need to add the genre of comedy to this! I really loved this story and the tale you tell here. You brought back many a Halloween night for me with this, thank you! It's not perfect, far from it. There are small, minor errors in it, but danged if I can remember them, except one. I loved the 'witch' too, and found that part of the story so very sad. Too many times children make up stories about someone, someone who is 'different' than others. There was one small thing I want to show you, very minor in nature.



1. She had been sitting there most of the night, watching the other kids abruptly skip passed her house every time- nobody wanted any part of the witch’s house. Passed should be past.


         This is an excellent story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
195
195
Review of Santa's Crisis  
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Loti,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 17th WDC Anniversary!

         This is pretty cute. I love writing about Santa, seems like you might too. I love the idea of Santa not visiting for a year and seeing what comes of it. I agree wholeheartedly with your story, and how children today approach things. (At least here in the states, and most civilized countries.) The world has changed, Santa needs to change some too, but I know I don't have the answers for him. Nice read, thank you for sharing!




Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use
196
196
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Confessor
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 7th WDC Anniversary!

         I found this to be incredibly sad. There's no way someone should be treated like this. I'm ashamed of my fellow men and how childish they can be. I know you've heard the phrase, "Oh that's just men being men! Far from it. This sounds like boys being boys, more interested in sowing their wild oats than looking for a true relationship.

         Some of your descriptions hit me pretty hard. "You have a lot of anger inside of you." "You're an extremely emotional girl." Or the kicked, "You swear too much." First, if you have anger issues, you'll need to learn to control them, and not let them show too much. I've news for those 'boys'. We ALL have anger issues. It's how we address them that makes us 'appear' mature and not young. Emotions? I think they're great. But again, there's a time and place for that. I cry at least weekly, and I'm 65! Why do I cry so much? It's not really crying, it's my eyes getting wet when I watch something that touches me. I've found I can't listen to "Nessun Dorma" (a finale to an Opera) without my eyes watering. Go figure. Swearing? My thoughts on that is that people in general swear far too much. When I retired from the Navy in 1993, I made a decision to eliminate four letter words from my vocabulary. Why? Because I'm of the firm opinion that anyone using four letter words consistently is not someone I want to be around.

         Now, your article here. Very sad, well written, you throw your soul out there for all to see. Very brave of you, very good. None of us are perfect, embrace your imperfections and go from there. Love yourself first and foremost, then love others. I won't lecture you, that wouldn't be good, but that's the start of any advice I'd give.

         A sad, but interesting article. Thank you for sharing!


Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
197
197
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Rhyssa,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary! Eighteen? Wow!

         This is pretty cute, and you left me wondering about a few things. You described the 'Unicorn' well, but it was the mother who caught me most. Late in her pregnancy, yet still able to do things needed around the house. Baking a cake, taking care of two rambunctious girls, and banishing false unicorns who knows where. *Smile*

         You left me wondering about this though. You make the mother to be almost a witch, the way she can snap her fingers to get her daughter next to her (then again, Mother's do have a way with things like that, don't they?). But the kicker was when she made the Kelpie disappear. Matter of fact, what is a Kelpie? I Googled it, and found one described as a "shape-shifting water spirit inhabiting the lochs and pools of Scotland." You didn't describe their surroundings, nor their location, so I can only guess this is what you mean. That's fine, it's a short story, you don't need to provide a lot of details. I found it interesting is all. You might want to add a genre to this to help a reader know more. Interesting story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
198
198
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hey Ruwth,
         I thought I would fulfill your request and review this for you. It is very interesting, even for one who has not studied the bible a lot. I knew of a lot of this story already, and yes, I know this is your fictional account of John's life, but there are things I remember from my early childhood bible studies that go with this.

         I really enjoyed this, it was a refreshing change of pace for me. My rating of it is based on the number of minor things I think need to be looked into. In my opinion, the few things you'll want to look at, should you decide to edit this for the contest are:


1. The day will come the every tongue will declare those words. The should be that, correct?

2. People hold my words in such high esteem that putting anything in writing is a huge responsibility. Second time using the words 'People hold my words in such high esteem... You used this same phrase a couple of paragraphs earlier. You may want to consider changing one a little bit.

3. I did not realize people would based teachings on my note to him but, because they do, I know I must be conscientious as I tackle this longer project. Base, not based

4. You told her your time had not come but you were kind and helped her friends with a miracle turning water into the finest wine we had even had to drink. Ever, not even. Also, add a comma after miracle.

5. You foretold your own death and resurrection way back then but not of us realized what you meant until after it all happened. None, not 'not'.

6. You told us the Father bare witness of who you were. Bore? Not Bare.

7. Then you explained the you were indeed the true bread of life. That instead of the

8. When they were no longer willing to condemn her, then you did told her you would not condemn her either. I'm not sure what you meant here, what word you want to use. But told isn't it I'm sure.

9. Help me to take these things I have remember and put them down using parchment and ink for others to have a glimpse of what you mean to me and to all of us—that they might believe you are the Christ, the Son of God and believing they would have life through your name. Remember should be remembered.


         This is an interesting story, even for one who doesn't attend church regularly. A bit of knowledge about the New Testament would help understand it more though.



Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
199
199
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Deb,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 19th WDC Anniversary!

         Such a sweet story. It's amazing what children can see that adults cannot. I'm convinced something happens to us as we mature; we lose the ability to see magical things or something like an angel.

         Sandy sounds like a very precocious little girl who has learned to play alone. Though you didn't mention it in the story, I got the impression they lived in the country, in a very rural setting. I could see Dorothy in an apron cooking in the kitchen as Sandy played out back. Well done with providing little descriptions, but still getting this reader to see things in his mind! Very good story, thank you for sharing!


Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use
200
200
Review by Sum1's At Home!
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Fran,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 8th WDC Anniversary!

         Y'know, sometimes the strangest things happen, no matter how old we are. Sounds like this lady assumed you live with your parents due to your handicap. Easy assumption, but not fair to you.

         I enjoyed this, it is a bit lighthearted and makes one smile. Glad to know you are doing well (as well as can be I'd think) and can find humor in another's minor error. But I have to confess that you left me wondering what it was exactly she was trying to 'sell' or offer the household bill payer. *Smile*


Sum1

*Boat*  WDC POWER RAIDER  *Boat*


Review Sig for use
1,236 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 50 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jim-d/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/8