Very well written piece. The only thing I might consider revising is moving the description on paragraphy nine up. You;ve already stated in paragraph seven that Simon could see his breath. You haven't mentioned he's smoking, so it seems to imply it's cold, If you wanted to state such a thing for clarity it might have been stated at this point. Also, since you said it was a crsp night you didn't need to also state it was cold in the next sentence. There is also a typo in the last paragraph. After the second comma it should read, Simon knew exactly where he was going.
I really like the piece overall. I really liked how the ending was so uplifting after taking on a sad tone early on. The only thing I would recommend possibly revising is the first sentence in the second paragraph. It seems like there should be more words. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more from you.
Overall I like this piece. I like all the imagery conveyed, but I kept wondering who thie author was speaking about. A mate or a child? Maybe neither. Maybe it was the author speaking to themselves. It wasn't really clear, but then again, one could say you did a good job making this a universal piece.
Not burden them or rob them of their childhood, but make them aware that things will change financially, and no of it is their fault. Word should be none.
Two people with nothing left in sitting at the seaside. Take out the word in.
Very touching poem. I did see one minor spelling error. In the line
"If you get to weak and want to stop" The to before the word weak should be spelled too.
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