Hi. Sorry it took so long. I don't really know much about poetry. So, what I can tell you is my general idea of the poem. I like the part where you weave the wife into the poem as a background, yet powerful element.
The sentences are easy on the eye, easy enough to simply read and move through, which is a perk in many ways but, it will also be difficult to stick a plot within it. The second part looks to lay the foundation of an elaborated storyline and I hope it has a good connection with the first part, or at least that's what I gathered. I hope you stay enthusiastic and keep writing.
Hi. You write with a strong vocabulary and vivid descriptions. I could almost feel the peacefulness of the park. And the contrast between the quiet and busy was skillfully shown. Also, you worked your way into the story nicely.
One little note that comes to my mind is; it would have been better if you could round out the story in a way to underline the significance of the main point.
I hope it was helpful. Stay inspired.
The descriptions of the mother and the child were touching.
At first it was, maybe, too simple. But then, as the story progressed it became better. The tragedy was well-put. I enjoyed reading it.
I hope you stay inspired and keep writing.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jggraham
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 10:22am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX2.