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798 Public Reviews Given
803 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to always pick out the positive points in a piece, even if overall I am not enamoured by it. I tend to point out grammatical and spelling errors. I will be honest, but not unkind *Smile*
I'm good at...
Empathising with people, giving my opinion, analysing poetry.
Favorite Genres
Travel, Sci - fi, psychology, opinion, music, horror, gothic food, emotional, death/dark, animal.
Least Favorite Genres
Western/war, Parenting, History, Erotica/Adult
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Flash Fiction, Photos, Articles.
Least Favorite Item Types
Campfire creatives, interactive stories.
I will not review...
Novels.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Winner  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Winchester Jones Author Icon

I found this story via the "Read and Review" tab

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What the title says to me

I like titles that are short and sweet like this one - the Word "Winner" indicates that the story is about success, gaining something, getting a prize. Although really it could mean anything! I think it works as the story is not predictable in relation to the title.

The opening paragraph

Caught my attention because as the reader I am intrigued to know about this little girl and this man, who are they, where are they, what are they doing there. It is a good opening as it encouraged me to read on. Often if an opening paragraph does not grab me I will just not continue reading...

How I felt about the characters

As it is a flash fiction story we do not get to learn a great deal of the 2 characters portrayed, however I think there is enough that the reader cares enough to want to know what happens to them. I like the interaction between the characters.

The plot

I quickly understood that the setting was a prison and that the two characters must have been related, I think with such a short story it still does pack a plot with a beginning/middle/end, the thing is that we don't find out why the man is in prison? I suppose that doesn't matter as when he says "Never" we know he is in for life and so must have done something terrible.

What I liked best

I liked the description of the Child's hair described by the older man. I liked the ending, I thought it was poignant *Smile*

Suggestions

I am not sure why the man is referred to as "Crenshaw, Lester T " throughout the story - I can see why he may have been introduced as this but then I would have just referred to him as "Crenshaw", or "Lester". It seems odd to use his full name every time.

"she wanted nothing more than to throw the phone at the face in the window and run from the room, and to not throw-up."

There is something in this line that does not sound right to me - "She wanted to not throw up" I don't know if this is how the phrase would be expressed? But maybe a use of language difference? (if you are not English!)

I think something like "and to avoid throwing up" or "and to stop herself from throwing up/being sick" would sound better here

In Conclusion.....

I liked your flash story and your writing style and thought the interaction between your characters was effective in telling the story to the reader. I can see it was written some years ago and for a contest so maybe it will be a surprise for you getting this review!! *Laugh*


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2
2
Review of Winter Wonderland  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello StephBee Author Icon

I saw that you were asking for reviews of your Wordsearch on the Newsfeed.

I liked that I managed to complete this wordsearch as sometimes I find them too hard and I give up! However it did have a bit of a challenge as I had to look harder for a few of the words at the end as it gets a bit more difficult as more words crowd the board.

A fitting theme for the time of year and I liked your eclectic choice of words. I am not a fan of Winter in general although these words do not remind me of and English Winter - apart perhaps from freezing, it made me think more of Canada with the activities such as hockey, snowtubing and tobogganing. Perhaps if British Winters included such activities they would be more enjoyable. Although that would mean having several inches of snow so the transport networks would grind to a halt, all the schools would close, and people would be panic buying pasta and toilet roll *Laugh* *Facepalm*

There is one word where I think you have a typo - "Artic" instead of Arctic

*Jellyfish*

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Butterfly Book
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Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello VENACAVA Author Icon

I have chanced upon your poem via the "Read and Review" tab

*StarP*The title of the poem

Is evasive as it could relate to a number of things - just a little more - but a little more of what? It provides an element of intrigue for the reader, so I think it is a good title.

*StarP*To me, the poem is about

Time, and the human relationship with it, and the writers opinion of it.

*StarP*What I liked about the poem was

The theme - it is an important one and one which we all think about, and are all affected by. The poem makes valid points that most of us can relate to - losing track of time at some points, wishing for more of it on other occasions.

*StarP*Suggestions

often loose track of - This may be a typo but it should be "lose" not "loose"

we forget it exist - It should say "exists" not "exist"

hearing the alerting rage - To me "alerting rage" does not really make sense here? I think something like just "Hearing the alert" Or perhaps "hearing the dreaded alert" would sound better in this context.

*StarP*Overall -

I think this a good theme for a poem and you have expressed some valid points and ideas on the subject. The final line "Time is what we make it" may make the reader think. I feel that perhaps the poem could flow better - I appreciate it is free form but to me it reads more like several sentences rather than having a poetic feel. I would maybe separate the longer lines in to shorter ones to give more of a sense of a free form poem.

*Jellyfish*

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4
4
Review of A Graveside Visit  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello The Puppet Master Author Icon

I found this story on the "Plug" page

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What the title says to me

"A graveside visit" could mean one of two things, perhaps a visit to a loved one or something more sinister, so as this was billed as a horror/scary story I figured it would be the latter....

The opening paragraph

Immediately had my attention as it set the scene straight away. The writer tells us it is 1850 and the style of writing makes me believe it is the 19th Century. I liked the description of the gravestones and the grass crunching underfoot which helps the reader to picture the scene.

The plot

As I read through the story of our main character meeting Poe at his graveside I was not sure where the story was going or how it was going to end - the end was a bit of a shock! *Shock* but then it is a horror story after all!

What I liked best

I loved the writing style but my favourite line is probably -

"He took the bottle and drank it, but without a body it just dripped on the ground. "

It reminded me of that scene in Casper where the ghosts are eating and drinking but the food is falling to the floor. Or in that "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie where the crew are all dead.

Anyway it's a vivid image and kind of injects a bit of light heartedness I think.

Suggestions

"Correct. 'Tis I. I have been sent to accompany you on your journey to beyond."

I don't really know why but for some reason I think it would be better to say "The Beyond" rather than just "Beyond" - not sure if that is really grammatically correct though!

In Conclusion.....

I loved your story, it really felt like a 19thC horror story, the ending was unexpected and ties in with the horror theme. I liked the way I can picture the scene from your descriptions.

*Jellyfish*

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5
Review of Ordinary Me, Not  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Wordsmith John Author Icon

I found your poem on the "Plug" page

*StarP*The title of the poem

Appealed to me perhaps because I do not see myself as "ordinary" as it were, it seemed to give me vibes that the writer is perhaps not totally happy about their "oddness" or perhaps that is just me projecting!

*StarP*To me, the poem is about

A person who perhaps suffers from a mental health condition - or it could be just about someone who is odd, or someone who has taken drugs and it has affected their mind, it made me think of drug induced psychosis because of the reference to the berries and the doctors.

*StarP*What I liked about the poem was

The odd imagery - it made me have to think twice about what it was about and how the lines related to each other. At first it read a bit like "nonsense verse" but then on reading it a second and third time, it seems to have a deeper meaning, although perhaps I don't know what the meaning was

*StarP*Your poem made me feel

Like I wanted to get to know the writer more

*StarP*The only thing I would suggest/was unsure of

The two verses feel a bit disjointed, as though there should maybe be another one in the middle giving us more information? As though there may be a bit missing.

*StarP*Overall -

I liked this poem and its weirdness, I liked your writing style. I think people often think I am a bit unusual too, although sometimes I want to be just like everyone else *RollEyes*

*Jellyfish*

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Review of Into My Kitchen  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Lizzie Winter's Fairy Author Icon

I saw your item for review on the "Plug" page, so I thought I would have a look. On clicking on your item I noticed that "tofu" was mentioned a couple of times which interested me as I am vegan and eat a lot of tofu, and this is not usually mentioned on many cookery pages. I can see that your recipe book is not vegan but many of the recipes could easily be adapted as vegan for example using vegetable stock. I like the way your instructions are very clear and succinct. I like your idea of using black beans with a baked potato - in England "baked beans" (white beans in a tomato sauce) are a common potato filling but not black beans, that sounds good though. I like the idea of the sticky tofu although I would use syrup probably not honey (which I don't eat). You have got some great ideas here for recipes - most of it I would not say is typically Western food so I am wondering if you have influence from a particular culture. The only thing missing I guess is some pictures but I know it is hard on WDC to add pics....

*Jellyfish*

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7
7
Review of The Clotilda  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello elizjohn Author Icon

I came upon your poem via the WDC "Plug" page

*StarP*The title of the poem

Caught my eye as I had no idea what it meant, it was interesting to read the description. I then Googled it and it was really interesting (and a bit shocking!) to read about.

*StarP*To me, the poem is about

The enslaved people who lost their lives on the "Clotilda" ship which I have learned was the last known U.S. slave ship to bring captives from Africa to the United States in 1960

*StarP*What I liked about the poem was

I liked the fact that it taught me something new. I liked the vivid imagery and description in the poem, how the reader can see the scene. The first verse is my favourite as I think it flows the best.

*StarP*Your poem made me feel

Bad for what happened to the people who were on this ship, and for the whole slave trade. It's unbelievable really how people were treated.

*StarP*The only thing I would suggest/was unsure of

In some places I think the rhyming scheme does not quite work?

cry/abide can be classed as a near - rhyme, as at a push can be trees/tragedy - however I cannot see a rhyme with ship/occupants? Maybe it is not supposed to have a rhyming scheme, but it feels like it is?

*StarP*Overall -

I like that this poen taught me something new and I like the descriptive imagery in your poem. Having Googled it however, it is suggested that only a few people died on the ship and the rest were sadly taken as slaves. Maybe I found wrong info? The poem suggests to me that many/all of the people onboard died. As for the flow and rhyming scheme of the poem, in general I feel this works well apart perhaps from the third verse

It was an interesting poem to read *Smile*

*Jellyfish*

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8
8
Review of Ug Journal  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Genipher Author Icon - I came across your item looking at the entries in Merit Badge Magic. I thought this was great! So inspired and an imaginative response to the prompt. It was funny and sweet at the same time. Even though it is written in basic "Caveman" speak, and we learn little about the characters, as the reader I still feel for Ug and his family and friends and can picture them. I like the little pictures you have included at the start of each "entry" like cave art! *Laugh*. I especially like the bits about Ug trying to catch the sun, and the "domestication" of the baby wolf.

Very clever, and well deserved badge *Cool*


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9
Review of One Missing Glove  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi THANKFUL SONALI Love my family Author Icon

I found this story looking at entries for The Writers Cramp.

I loved your "Alternative" Cinderella story. It really made me smile *Delight*. I thought it was creatively thought out and a clever response to the prompt. This would make a lovely children's story and of course has a suitable happy ending. I like humourous adult centred interjections such as the fairy Godmother off doing accounts *Laugh*.

My favourite part was the cats borrowing her dress from Versace! Ha ha. I love that.

Good luck in the contest and Happy WDC Birthday week! *Smile* *Heartp*

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10
10
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Choconut Author Icon!

This is a great fundraiser, it is simple and easy to understand what you are "selling" and what you are raising funds for. I think it is good that you have a variety of merit badges for different prices/budgets. Some fundraisers have a lot of "waffle" but you keep this short and sweet. I like the purple/pink colour scheme, but might have done the font in bold myself.

I was drawn in to buy a merit badge.

Good luck with your fundraiser

Love Jellyfish *Jellyfish*

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11
11
Review of Hide and Seek  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello summer blush Author Icon

I really like this poem - I like the way that on the surface it could depict a simple, childish, game of hide and seek, however this seems a cover for something far more sinister.

It could perhaps be about someone evil, an abusive person who is coming after the "hider" - or it could be about a fantastical beast, a monster of some kind coming for them.

The poem has a sense of urgency and intensity. As the reader, one can feel like the person being chased and sought out, running and hiding from them. The voice of the speaker has a disturbing tone, I read it like a human voice but distorted.

The refrain of "Ding Dong" sounds trivial and innocent, the ringing of a doorbell - yet as the poem progresses it becomes something sinister and frightening.

At the end of the poem the hider is caught and it is left to the imagination of the reader what happens...

I noticed a couple of typos -

Where is it you've gone too? - "Where is it you've gone to?"

Where is it you've hide? - "Where is it you've hidden?" or "Where is it you're hiding"?

This was a really interesting poem to read, I like your writing style *Smile*


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12
12
Review of Vegan Bean Stew  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Choconut Author Icon

I just happened to be looking in your Port and my little Vegan Eye spotted the "V" word so obviously I had to take a look seeing as this hardly ever happens on WDC! It's a simple recipe but imaginatively written with the emoticons - I love the *Chicken*peas *Laugh* - I am wondering if you added the word "chick" after someone commented - What are chicken peas?*Laugh*

I would definitely eat this with some fresh crusty bread and a glass of red wine *Bigsmile* *Heartg*

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13
13
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello WakeUpAndLive Author Icon

I found your item on The Plug Page.

Your opening line encouraged me to read on as I also love looking at the stars, although I have never really thought of this as being close to God but it is an interesting idea. Maybe a God created the stars and maybe they didn't ?!

I agree with you in that I love the idea of space exploration and especially finding extra terrestrial life, but I do wonder what we would do with it if we found it - welcome the "aliens" with open arms? Most Countries of the World don't even want to welcome those from the next continent.

Have you seen District 9 - that is probably more likely the reality.

It's a sad thought.

And if we were to ever make it to another planet, would we just wreck that one?

An interesting topic of debate, and good to read.

Not sure about the sparkling pickles analogy but it's quite funny *Laugh*

*Jellyfish*

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14
14
Review of Apprentice  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Just Jae Author Icon

I came across your story perusing entries for the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.

I thought this was a lovely little flash fiction story and an imaginative response to the prompt *Smile*

I felt like I could picture the scene in this fantasy story and your characters are intriguing, with good communication between them.

I think you told a fun story in just 300 words which still has a beginning/middle/and end which captured my attention.

And I love the name "Laora Nightwind" ! *Smile*

*Jellyfish*

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15
15
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello strlcuckoo Author Icon

I came across your poem as you sent me a review request

Here are my thoughts on your poem -

First Impressions

I thought it rhymed and flowed very well and I liked the format. It has an ethereal quality talking about the sirens (assuming this means sirens as in mythical creatures rather than emergency vehicles!)

Imagery and Theme

The poem seems to indicate the writer is far from home and finds that "home" is calling him, interpreted by the sirens. It leaves me a bit unsure of why the writer longs to go home, what the secrets are, and why no-one cares to hear them. I feel the poem tells part of the story but leaves out a lot, although perhaps this is purposeful.


Form

The poem is written in an ABCB rhyming schemes and I found no faults with the rhymes here.

Favourite Bits

I liked the first verse the best, and the image of the sirens calling the writer home.

Suggestions

Too many days have past - should this be PASSED rather than PAST?

Conclusion

I thought this poem was well written in terms of how it flowed and the imagery used, although it did not entirely convey to me the writers story and what it was getting at.

*Jellyfish*

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Review of Food  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Genipher Author Icon

I came across your story just looking at the February entries for the dialogue 500 contest!

Your story made me laugh *Smile* - I like the way it is just assumed it is normal for this guy to talk to his talking fish. I like the way the fish speaks with the limited grammar which may be how we would assume a creature to talk!

I was expecting the guy Steve to eat the food and something to happen to him, so a curveball with the dog - however I think there could probably have been a bit more dialogue here, with the man being shocked as the dog eats the food etc.

It was a good response to the prompt and I wish you well with the contest! *Smile* *Hearty*


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17
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Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Princess Megan Rose Author Icon

Thank you for sharing your fab page of trinkets *Delight*

I love the fantasy trinkets with the dragons, I like the colours and the images

I like that the wording on the trinkets is concise and not too long winded!

I thought I must comment on "The Princess and Her Fox" as I am very against fox hunting (which still happens today not just in medieval times!!) and I liked your shared sentiment on this.

I love seeing foxes, I don't see many where I live now but I used to see them a lot in Portsmouth, especially walking home late at night. I used to leave food for them out in the back garden. They are timid though and usually ran away from me when I approached!

*Hearty* *Heartp* *Heartb*


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18
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Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello NightShift Author Icon

I came across your poem as you sent me a review request.

Here are my thoughts on your poem -

First Impressions

This is a dark poem which indicates from the text that the writer has lost all hope. I like dark poetry so this appealed to me. I wasn't so sure of the title, I am not sure "Coldness of Blackness" makes sense. I would probably call it just "The blackness" or "The Void" or something like that.

Imagery and Theme

The imagery is typical of dark or negative thoughts - the inky black sky, the closed road, the lack of light, the numbness etc I suppose it could be argued that some of these images could be a bit cliched! But they are the kind of images I would probably use myself, so I cannot really be critical of that. The imagery is vivid and conveys emotion.


Form

The form here is interesting as it chops and changes, therefore it is more of a free form poem but different parts have a rhyming scheme - I think this works for your poem and makes it interesting to read. The last line is an abrupt statement, and has an air of finality to it.

Favourite Bits

The first verse is my favourite, I really like the imagery and the rhyming scheme *Smile*

I like the way the form plays out though, so the rhyming scheme is not the same throughout

Suggestions

"When road is closed before you" - I think this should say, "When THE road is closed before you"

"don’t grieve me." - I think this should be "Don't grieve FOR me"

I always think punctuation in poems is kind of up to the writer, however it should probably be consistent - as in, if you are starting each sentence with a capital letter, then you should probably do this through the whole poem, but your second verse has no capital letters.

Conclusion

I liked reading your poem, it is up my street so to speak. The writer speaks candidly about their feelings, and the ending is a bit chilling.....

The title is not really gripping and could probably use a rethink?

*Jellyfish*

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19
Review of Never Again  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello strlcuckoo Author Icon

I am reviewing your poem as you sent me a review request.

I am not quite sure why it says 128 at the top, unless you number your poems, much like Shakespeare and his sonnets, however the poem does have a name - "Never Again" - this indicates to me that the poem could be about regret, however, reading the first verse I am more inclined to think it is about loss. This theme seems to run through the poem until the last line, when the writer seems to reveal that the person they loved is still present, unless perhaps he is referring to looking at a picture, or a vision.

The poem mostly has an AB-CB rhyming scheme which works well on the whole and it flows well, however the line - "Love meaning more then the Pieta’s" - throws this for me - I don't know what this means, and I do not see how "Pietas" rhymes with "Lisa"

The poem describes a beautiful woman the writer loves, although I think a couple more verses could be added to expand on the image, as it is quite short.

The simile of the sunshine on the waving wheat is nicely descriptive.

Thank you for sharing your poem and Happy 2024!

...For the Super Power Reviewers


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20
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Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Allen Mitchell Author Icon

I found this story looking for new members' items to review for "The WdC Birthday Challenge!!! CLOSED" Open in new Window.

*BalloonB**Books2**BalloonB**Books3**BalloonB*


What the title says to me

Obviously it is a Writer's Cramp entry! *Laugh* although I am not sure you need to put this in your title, as the ACTUAL title gets a bit lost. "When Am I?" is intriguing as it is obviously grammatically incorrect so it must have a point. It encourages you to read and find out.

The opening paragraph

The opening paragraph is exciting and intriguing, it does not give away much, the character could be anywhere, but it makes you want to read on.

How I felt about the characters

I liked the fact that there was a lot of dialogue in the story between the characters as in general I prefer dialogue rather than long paragraphs of description, I think it helps the story to flow better. I didn't get a sense of the supporting characters being in the "modern day" however, perhaps this was done on purpose?

What I liked best

I thought the story was really imaginative and I did not know where it was going, I thought parts of the story were funny, I liked the ending, as though that points to a whole new story....now what does he do?? *Laugh*

Suggestions

The "smelling salts" that the doctor has did not seem fitting with the modern day, it made the story still seem to be set in the past. Perhaps introducing something like a mobile phone, or modern clothing would have been more relevant here?

In Conclusion.....

This was an entertaining story, I thought it was well written and super imaginative, I did not see where it was going. The ending leaves the readers in suspense....


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21
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Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello jackiesmuse Author Icon

I found this story looking for items about birthdays for a challenge at "a Mod-o-Poly Celebration!" Open in new Window.

*BalloonB**Books2**BalloonB**Books3**BalloonB*


What the title says to me

The title made it clear that the story is about a birthday party, and introduces us to one of the characters.

The opening paragraph

We quickly learn when the story starts that this is not necessarily your average birthday celebration nor a happy occasion. The opening paragraph sets the scene in a hospital straight away.

How I felt about the characters

As the story goes on, I empathise with the main character - whose name we do not know. She evidently has a connection with her grandmother and has fond memories. The other characters do not seem to know her as well, summoning a priest even though this is not something she would want. This is cemented by the fact that Maudie turns out not to really like them. The other family members seem to be a bit bumbling and foolish.

The plot

The plot is fairly simple although this is only a very short story, I had a feeling that the Grandmother was going to wake up at the end, so I would not say it was a surprise, however it makes for a good ending.

The setting

The story is set in a hospital which is not your usual setting for a party. The description of the room is effective especially the "smell of decay and pine spray". Hospitals do have that weird smell...

What I liked best

I liked the dynamic between the different characters, and the description of the cousin as a roly poly baby! *Laugh*

Suggestions

I am not sure why the last line is in red but assuming it was for a prompt. The grandma awakening from a coma saying Let's party is a bit far fetched *Laugh* but it works for the story and the last line.

In Conclusion.....

I found the story easy to read and engaging. I liked the writing style. The plot is simple and predictable but works for a very short story.

*BalloonB**Books2**BalloonB**Books3**BalloonB*


Signature won in an auction :)

Image #1791779 over display limit. -?-


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Review of Scammed  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sumojo Author Icon

I am just checking out your entry as a fellow member of this challenge!

I love your micro flash story *Laugh* - you really told the story in 100 words. The ending made me laugh - it is that classic stereotypical story right? You tell it well in 100 words.

The only thing I was not sure of is the word "babushka" - I thought this was a Kate Bush Song. (well, it is as well). I had to Google it because I did not know the meaning of this word, on reading the meaning I see how it fits in your story but I am not sure it is a well known word??? Maybe it is just me there....


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23
23
Review of Fading Memories  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Graywriter Author Icon

I thought I would take a look at your poem as I entered the Dark Dreamscapes contest, which you have also entered. For some reason, I must have been confused and I thought your poem was called "All cats are gray in the dark" and then I was confused when your poem was not about cats. Incidentally, if you are thinking of writing another poem -this would be a great title. Or maybe for an album. perhaps I will steal it.

With regards to your poem, I did like it. I like the way that it tells a story and has vivid imagery. I can really picture the girl on her bench, in the sunshine with the geese and the ducks. I like the repetition of the dreaming and the bench and the park. I also like the ending, where it seems that the writer is talking of a love lost, or of the past.

All in all I enjoyed reading your poem and I wish you luck in the contest *Heartp* *Shamrock*

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24
24
Review of Chess Pieces  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello KingsSideCastle Author Icon

I came across your portfolio at random and I clicked on it - and on this item - because of the chess reference. My Mum is obsessed with chess and so I hear about it a lot (I can play, although I am not great...)

I loved your chess poem because it does point out the technical points of the game, whilst still having a light, almost humorous tone, and a really good rhyme scheme to boot *Delight*.

I liked the bit about the "raid" - because my Mum always tells me I play too defensively (I hate losing pieces.....)

This is my favourite verse -

"Let me give you one more tip
I know its sounds a hassle
A good defensive posture trick...
You're gonna want to castle."

*Laugh* *ThumbsUpL*

My only negative point is in this stanza -

"You'll want to have the most point value
after each exchange."

this is because I feel the first line has too many syllables, and therefore does not flow as well as the rest of the poem.

I think this poem is great, and I have never come across a poem about chess before!! *Crown*

Thanks for the trinket too *Smile*

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25
25
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Vaishali Author Icon

I saw your post on the Newsfeed and decided to click on your link as I did not really know what "Holi" was, although I have heard vaguely of a festival of colour. I liked your description and insight in to this festival and the idea behind it. I visited Bali in 2019 and I keep meaning to find out more about Hinduism, as I do not know much about it. I am not sure I would like to get water balloons thrown at me but I live in England where it is freezing cold at this time of year, perhaps I would not mind so much in a hot country like India!

I am presuming that this is a festival that you celebrate and it would be interesting to have a paragraph about your personal experience and how you like to celebrate this festival!

Very interesting, and I like the cheerful picture *Smile*

*RainbowL* *RainbowR*

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