Beautifully done. How many of us can not relate to such a situation? As I read this, I remember all to clearly a 15 year old boy and girl sitting next to each other on a bench near a lake. The sights, smells and feelings are never lost, are they? What none of us would give to go back. It's like you said, it's so pure and innocent. How can we not want those moments back as we enter "real life" which is largely devoid of purity and innocence.
I really enjoyed your way with words. "She sat herself down on the piano bench and wished she could press the keys to make the familiar sounds of euphoria." "Cologne mixed with the sweat of labor, the invigorating scent of sunshine and the outdoors." It's a particularly colorful read. I also enjoyed how in the very beginning of the story you "show" the school is run down "desks lay huddled in a mass of broken rubble as they had since the school closed all those years ago." and "The blackboard lay broken on the floor, a large mildewy water stain sprawled itself along the ceiling in one corner, and the smell of decomposition welcomed her" create an image. I think to often, some authors are not patient and they simply say "the school was run down." Thank you for taking your time, it creates such beautiful imagery.
I deeply appreciated this particular story. It reminded me that our lives have many chapters but those people we meet, the people we learn from, the people we share memories with, those we love, they stay with us. Always.
What an interesting piece of writing! I always enjoy a good bad guy story and Lucifer really is the ultimate bad guy. I do like stories from the "bad guy's" point of view. When Esther says "I watched you in the present and in the past. I watched everything you've done. At first I was disgusted, how could someone do such horrible things." Are there any examples of these things? Then she goes on to say "Then I started to understand everything. Why you did what you did." Is there anyway we can hear her thoughts on that subject?
What fun! Great job!
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