Good story. I like the way you put voice into the characters. Especially toward the end, I could really feel Bobby yelling for his mother. It also reminds me of how most 'oldest kids' feel when it comes to one of thier parents: Nothing is ever good enough. I'm the first-born in the family and know that all too well. Jon's thoughts I could hear all the way through the story as well, as if I myself were thinking them, and actually saw a couple of the thoughts before I got that far in the story as well. Memories of past feelings.
I really like the way you took a peice of art that you created, and explained it in such detail. Using all kinds of references - literature, historical fact and theory, science, religion, and present day meaning of 'Big Brother'. Looking at the picture, I can't help but wonder how hard it was to get the ceramics to stay balanced as you built the pyramid. I would think they would just want to roll in on themselves until you got the 'cornerstone' piece in place without any support inside. Good work!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jdl66441
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 6:45pm on Jan 08, 2025 via server WEBX1.