Having been at the point of suicide myself on more than one occasion, and even attempting it a couple of times, I can certainly relate to this poem. Though devoid of any consistent, discernable meter, it seems to have a certain flow to it. It is as if it drifted directly out of your mind and onto the paper (monitor), even though the obvious attention to form suggests otherwise. I am impressed, and I enjoyed reading this immensely. (I don't say that often)
This is a great conceptualization of love. It brings the concept of love to life, so to speak. There are a few things that I believe could be done to improve this poem, though.
"Without it,we cannot live."
There needs to be a space after the comma if you're going to leave it there, but I would suggest taking it out altogether. It is not necessary, and it adversely affects the meter of the poem.
Your rhyme scheme is consistent right up to the last stanza. "It" does not rhyme with "midst", and although it is a good example of asonance, I believe that it would be better to make the rhyme scheme in this stanza consistent with the rest of the poem.
Anyway, that is just my two cents. Poetry is an expression of the author's emotion, so I try not to be overly-critical. I am just offering suggestions to help enhance the readability of the poem.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this, and I hope my comments are helpful.
-= Myndian Rotularen =-
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