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Review by sweetetcetera Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey Laura! Glad I finally got to read the first chapter to your book.

So I'll be honest, I'm not a huge fan of high school teen dramas usually. This story does give me lots of questions right at the beginning: who are the black mambas, what's the significance of Alex's necklace and Tammi's necklace (are they related somehow?) and what was this awful fight that the four girls had? Those questions give me hope that I won't be reading a high school teen drama.

Just reading this chapter, I don't think the opening in the Shakespearean class is necessary. Why not open directly on the poster of Tammi? For now at least, it seems like that's the central question to the story.

I'm also not sure you need to explain quite so much about the black mambas yet. Just the name drop, and the show of police force around those schools is enough to inspire some fear around them. Maybe their background of disappearing ninety years ago can wait. But those are just my thoughts.

P.S.: I was worried that hallway collision would be a meet-cute. Instead it was Alex yelling at a lame dude. Good show.
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