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Review of Ghost For Jakob  Open in new Window.
Review by C/Laahi Jano Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This story has multiple reads. on one hand, it is about parenting styles (dad: goofy, not firm; mom: firm, authoratative, and gentle). It could as well be read as a look at the cognitive stage of children--and the speaker/narrator does well in capturing a 7-year old boy's mind. A bigger theme, though, is about ACCEPTANCE--living with reality and going against assumptions/preconceived notions. The moral story is good for the children--but requires caution. Accept, but not without sound judgment. Accept without bias. Accept to celebrate. These lessons stood out to me--in my understanding.
I like how the story is a story within story.

Suggestion:

Why aren't the mom and dad given names? It is well done that the reader doesn't feel their names of the parents. This is a good job on the narration.
How does Bob feel in relation to the family besides Jakob?
Revise: "He is under the covers, bedroom light sparkling off his greenish-blue eyes, when his mom comes in to read a story." Here, I would like to see it start with, "When his mom comes in to read a story,he is under the covers, bedroom light sparkling off his greenish-blue eyes."

Instead of the narrator intruding and telling me how to read it ("'I'll get in trouble if my mom comes in.' He wants to play, but is afraid of getting caught") I would like to make that conclusion on my own--that he wants to play and is afraid of getting caught*Smile*.

“What is it, Honey" Why is the H in caps?

"Evidently he is wrong." Again, there's a fine line to walk, I think. How does the narrator avoid being seen as intruder while at the sametime trusting the reader to be independent?

Good story*Smile*

Jano
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