I like the idea behind this but I felt it moved too fast. I just didn't move at the same pace. I wanted to know how he felt, what he saw...all that and more.
Gripping. A nice twist at the end too. I thought the link to the three witches was a clever concept but M's witches foretold the future rather than bringing justice. You write well though. aA couple of repetitions but these can soon be sorted.
Very atmospheric and we're under no illusion as to where the narrative focus is. I think you could go a little easier on the adjectives. For example do we need 'humble' and sawmill labourer or 'strong' and 'moral'? I don't know about you but I usually rewrite by stripping more and more away.
I like this. your mind is racing through the story though. I wonder if you're more concerned to get on with the plot than show us everything that happens on the way. I found I was concerned about mundane questions like where did they get petrol and did they eat the veg from the garden. Ava and the dog are a very strong partnership though and I think this story could work really well if you slow down and ket the reader look about a bit.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 8:07am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
