I thought the story was interesting; being man, I don't have the insight of a woman who is pregnant and has anxiety if her unborn child will be normal. If she is carrying a child who is sick; a child who will come into this planet with a very bad hand, I get the sense life here is unfair. The undertone of anxiety is very good; the word sweat with it. I think you have a diamond in the rough and with a few careful edits, the story will shine.
"I sit in that uncomfortable plastic ,fake leather lounge and l try to imagine my fate,l imagine everyone else around me." I like this.
I force my mind into thinking happy thoughts imagine all the happy things l could do with my baby ,l wondered what he/she would be like in personality .Well my little fantasy world is jolted back to reality as the receptionist called my name to go in and see the Doctor . Another very good paragraph.
Give it a good edit and get it back to me and I'll review it, if you want. Your friend: Frank
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jammuza19
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 10:43am on Nov 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
