This was delight to read. The good old English class system at work. But goodness triumphs. Nurses anywhere are treasure.
The King’s shilling may have been a little misleading. I ‘m no expert but I don’t know if it was a steady pay. In England it’s common to find glass bottomed tankards. It’s said these were to protect men from ruthless recruiting sergeants from offering a man a beer in a tankard into which he’d dropped a shilling. When the man took it out he was deemed to have “taken the King’s shilling and was therefore now a soldier. The glass bottomed tankards were supposedly a protection against this practice. ……….. most likely a fact based on fiction.
Again many thanks for a great read.
Jaddlesee
Funny, very. Enjoyable, most. Too believable for comfort. Praise be that cats can’t talk. Typo free as far as I could see. Other thoughts? No it’s perfect the way it is.
Jaddlesee
An anti Trump American! Praise be? Let’s hope there are 51% of you. Up here in Canada I think there are very few Trumpites. We might be mild mannered but we know when to HATE.
Crossing our fingers for you (for the world).
Jaddlesee
After a long trawl through “Read and review” I found “Bad Manners”. Superb tension building stuff. You hold the reader on edge for para after para. We’ve got to know, what’s wrong with him. We never find out!!!! But the shotgun will settle matters.
Splendid stuff. Great story telling and typo free.
You’re English? Call the .guard. Southend (I lived in Southend once)
Thanks for a grand read.
Jaddlesee
Priceless! Loved it. Perfect, no typos, no changes needed that I can see. Galleon and treasure chest/corny, old hat. Hee hee!
Western Australia! Thereby hangs a tale. My first wife and I took over a pair of cats from a couple who were going to Australia. Said wife later visited them in Perth. Tonkinese cats, magic little guys. Long, long ago now.
J
An unexpected ending. "Lifeless body" had me thinking he was 'gone' but seemingly he wasn't.
You captured the deserted beach so very well.
I'd been plugging through "Read and Review" for far too long before your contribution stopped me.
Shades of "Outlander", time travel (if you're familiar). That concept intrigues me.
I think this begs for a better/longer ending. Sharks would keep me from surfing for sure.
Thanks for this, I enjoyed it.
Jaddlesee
Am I missing something here? Does it end like that? Am I a bit dim?.
Love the style and word flow. Nary a typo that I saw. Enjoyed it until that odd pause/ending.
Jaddlesee
Little snags.
Upper case P for Prologue.
Its midnight should be It's.
Period after slope.
Pretty much all river water moves downstream.
Perhaps a period after downstream.
It was daytime not I was daytime.
I, not i, opened the door.
Small and petite are pretty well synonymous.
Latte or latte, you have both.
Two visits to Starbuck's in one day! She could afford a bigger apartment.
Period after 'people walk by'
'it was a hot afternoon time' needs changing.
In other words: edit once, twice, make a coffee and edit again.
Looking forward to the whole story.
Jaddlesee
No upper case/capitals on your machine? That put me off any further reading I’m afraid. Deliberate I’m sure, but why bother? A bit like vaping or wearing a hat back to front.
Jaddlesee
My first reaction was, "Way too long." But of course this is all about strip tease which, of necessity, has to be drawn out. The crowd lost out of course, missing the best bit but it was worth it for the six main participants I'm sure. There's promise of a sequel?
I saw nary a typo - bordering on miraculous in a piece so long. The thermometer took a real upswing at the end, big grin, I liked that.
Seeing another erotic writer was a joy though. Apart from the "flood of foot fetish stuff" there seem to be very few of us at Writing.com A pity, when tastefully done, erotica makes the best stories of all.
This piece cries out for a careful edit. Punctuation, spacing between sentences, the last two lines have spelling mistakes that a re-read will pick up.
As for the title: Do you matter? Surely everyone matters; to themselves, friends, family, perhaps the whole world. Hopefully other reviews will answer your question better than I could.
Jaddlesee
A delightful piece of illicit seduction. Had me wanting more, like MR. Smith. Nicely done. I saw no flaws. Nice to find another erotica writer. (One without a foot fetish :) )
As an English born Canadian I can echo your thoughts twice. Adjust to us don’t expect us to adjust to you.
Sadly “we” may lose, whatever the common man wants.
Jaddlesee
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