I love this! It's quick and sharp and clever. It flows brilliantly and the rhyme pattern is excellent. I feel like this could be written by one of my favourite authors, and could be right out of one of his books. My favourite line was the "...like you my boy" part because it just fit so perfectly. Great job!
Very sweet! While love poems are as numerous as the stars I still enjoy them. This is classic and elegant. This rhyme scheme was done very well. The even line length helped very much with the flow of the poem. My favorite part was the transition in the last stanza; it took the poem to a personal level and tied the poem together nicely.
I liked it a lot! It was, I don't know the right word to describe it. It was interesting and pulled you in. I feel like while the examples, or detail given were a bit random, they all connected to describe you idea very well. I am impressed how exact the rhymes are. Great job!
Great job!! I liked how each stanza kind of held its own meaning, but they all connected. The two lines almost showed two different sides of the picture. Does that make any sense? Great imagery, and just the right about of detail. I quite enjoyed it! I would like to read some more of your work.
I liked it because it really left it open for imagination. While there are specific points/details, the fact that they are questions gives the right amount of hesitation and confusion to leave us wondering what exactly the question meant. I feel like the speaker is basically trying to decide between waiting for someone special, or being with someone you feel comfortable with. Am I way off? Great job by the way.
Awwwwww! That was beautiful. I saw in my head their life progressing every few lines. The flame ignites in you love, and it endures until the very end. I like how you never said that the flame went out. Death cannot stop true love. The last two lines are so sad yet so perfect. Great job, I loved it.
I like how it is kind of withdrawn from the actual thing (war) and is more a concept or an idea. I like how it is a question with an obvious answer. I don't think war is inevitable, but I don't think it is justifiable either. Does that make sense? Great job, it made me think.
So true!! But "stomach" is spelled wrong, just so you know. Or it could be an alternate spelling, I am not sure. The "stomach constricting" part seems almost, I don't know.... painful. But I do know what you mean. Maybe you could make this in to a series of haikus. Just a thought. But that is really what falling in love feels like (not that I would know), so great job.
Is this meant to be deep or profound? I must admit I do not really get it if it is, even though I tried to think through it for a few minutes. (Yes, you can laugh at me if it was really not meant to be profound) I came up with a few things I think it could mean, but I want to know what you were actually thinking of.
Are you describing an actual event? I would like to know what you were thinking of when you wrote this. I do not think I would have thought of the word 'dimples' to describe love and joy... it is an interesting choice. Good Haiku structure. I would like to read more of your work.
I am confused. I don't exactly agree with you though, because I don't write poetry for others, I write it for myself. Sure, I would like recognition, but for my poetry, not for myself. I go under a pen name that no one could figure out because I don't let anyone I know read it. And yet, writing it makes me feel alive, like a am really experiencing and describing life as it is or as I wish it was. But that's just my opinion. Thanks for writing this, it made me think about why I like to write.
it was good, but i didnt really get the point. the rhyming was well done. while some of the lines seemed forced, others flowed quite smoothly. i would like to inquire as to the motivation behind this piece. i felt like i was missing something. i like the idea of love spanning the generations though.
overall, nicely done.
~jack
I thought it was really well written! Your rhyming scheme was very well done. Do you know the song Imagine by John Lennon? It kind of reminded me of that song, except the solution is a Christmas spirit i guess. The only thing i think you could have touched more upon is the true meaning of Christmas, like the birth of Jesus. You may or may not be religious, it's just my personal preference i think. But i think the balance between the childlike aspects of christmas and the deeper meaning was well done. Ok, I can tell I'm not making any sense. Overall, I think it was a really well written poem, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thanks!
~Jack
wow. that was really eerie. i liked how you were able to capture such a haunting feeling in so short a poem. It was kind of scary. The feeling of restlessness and unease managed to rub off on me as the reader. Wow this review is longer than your poem. Anyways, great job, and i look forward to reading more of your writing.
-Jack
Great job! I read this because i saw that you are new too. I really like this poem. I can see that a lot of thought went into it. The poem shows a lot of feeling and vulnerability.
Great job!
~Jack
I love it!!! I am from the south. I can really picture what you are writing. It has a haunting beauty. I loved the different poetic devices you used too. It really added to the beauty of the poem. The way it is written leaves room for the reader to imagine and to infer. I was confused at first as to what you were trying to say, but then i realized that you were leaving it open to the reader to decide. great job! i really enjoyed it and look forward to reading more of your writing.
-Jack
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