Good Poem, just a little confusing to me. Unless that was your meaning behind what you were writing. It seemed a bit off reading, I'm not the best at poetry, but I do enjoy it. I would look this over again and really take it as its not your own. Ask, "did I convey the message I was intending?"
I thought the stroy was real good. What got me was the change in the way you were telling it. You started giving it from the point of view of the driver of the gray car. Then the end seemed as the driver of the van. I would have kept it from the beginning from the driver of the cars point of view. Other than that the story was great.
Very good poem. Flowed very well and the meaning behind the words caught me. Very good message. You are very talented and can't wait to see other work you have done. Please keep writing and sharing your talent. I look forward to seeing more in the future.
This is a wonderful piece of poetry. So meaningful and heartfelt. If flowed very well and was a very easy read that allowed you to be swallowed up by the words. The Forth paragraph was the only little hitch for me. Where it ends with shine and sign. The only reason I say this is the flow. When I hit there I had to stop and reread those two lines again. Its ust my opinion about a wonderful poem.
Good but seems incomplete. I know its hard to limit a story with 100 words. My suggestion more meat and less potatoes. You described the sceen well, but why and for what? Needs a purpose on what is happening.
I bet if you had more space to write it would be awesome.
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