Very interesting story and an enjoyable read. I especially like the opening scene. It really captures the reader's attention. I would suggest transitioning between the first and second scene a little more smoothly. The sudden change in location took me out the story for a moment. You used your flashback quite well. This is just a suggestion, but it seems you may lean just a tiny bit too heavy on adverbs. Well over all I really enjoyed the story. great job.
I am not sure with the format if this is supposed to be in verse or prose. It is listed as a static item, but it is in a verse format. I thought it was pretty good minus a couple of awkward phrasings.
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