I completely relate to your words. The ultimate goal of many writers is to evoke an emotional response or make an emotional connection with the reader. You did exactly that. As I read, I heard my inner voice saying, "Yes, that's exactly it!". So kudos on a job well done. You have captured the essence of someone deeply in love, wrestling with doubt and hoping to discover happily ever after.
Thank you for sharing.
dobie mom,
I think you are definitely off to a good start. I see some real potential for a great story here. I would recommend paying close attention to changes in tense. The story seems to be in past tense, but does slip into the present in at least one section.
Your story flows well and is easy to read and follow. If I could make a suggestion for improvement, I would encourage you to elaborate on the setting and the relationship between Luke and his Aunt Sophie. As I was reading, I found myself needing to scroll back to the beginning to remember how Sophie was connected to Luke, It is apparent that the two have a special relationship, but a little extra information might help the reader understand why.
Overall, I think you have the makings of something very viable. Let me know when you have more added to the story, I'd like to join the adventure.
Thanks for sharing,
Isabella Morgan
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/isabella_m
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 7:47am on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
