Your poem takes me back to every christmas, and new year I've every known.
Leaving the past behind, and looking forward to new beginnings, hopes, and dreams.
And then as so often happens, but not always, the new beginnings, hopes and dreams,
fade into the past until next year, when new resolutions, and faded ones,
once again return from the closet of the mind.
A very moving, story (no pun intended). Also, sadly true.
I'm a spiritual being and part of the living world not separate from it.
Reading the first half I am H2O. experiencing all you so wonderfully describe.
Then centuries later I am a tear, flowing with more tears down the face of a man who looks out
across a once beautiful paradise, and now sees.............
How does one portray global genocide? Of a living, breathing Eden.
The tears end. The man has no more to shed. He returns to his cabin high atop the mountain.
The story begins again."I was born high up in the snow covered mountains".............
I've read the rating guide here at WdC. Personally I feel it does not consider the reader.
Nameste
Cliff
p.s. you may like this quote about streams by SwamiVivekananda. "As different streams having different sources all mingle their waters in the sea,
so different tendencies, various though they appear, crooked or straight,
all lead to God.
Dear curious,
In answer to your poll, I choose "invite them in for coffee and a chat". Hoping for a benevolent species. And if they were from a planet such as ours, before man decided to destroy this one, and if their planet was the eden earth used to be, I would return with them. This is my short answer.
Well.................I think I'm not as "pudgy" as all that.
This fellow has but four books. I need more much more.
I like the image just the way it is.
Back to work I go.
Nameste
Cliff
I to, consider myself a citizen of the world, an Earthling if you will. I digress.
Enjoyed the poem, washing dishes and sweeping the floor to pray/meditate.
Brings back feelings of family times when my sisters and I would line up assembly line style to wash dishes.
Wash>>rinse>>dry>>put away. I washed. Yes, three sisters.
Ah, what wonderful memories you bring back with your experience. Thanks
Your poem has touched me deeply. I can empathize completely. Long ago when I was eighteen a drunk driver killed my first wife and two unborn children. The poem expresses exactly how I felt then.
You deal with the pain and hurt but it never goes away.
I'm learning so much here thanks for showing me another form of poetry. And explaining, I'll give it a try.
I did like this and wish there was more for my eyes to see. Most male*dogs2* are, but not all eat just carpets. My Alex likes pillows, Penny enjoys shoes and Boss he likes shoes old and new. And cats no scratching posts for them chairs, sofas table legs. Ahhhhhhhhhhh
You have inspired me to write about my own, thanks.
This is cool. Enjoyed your 55 word story. The charaters the plot the scene, all the elements were there, I think. Does the "want to try it?" put you over??? I'm new here and everyone here is showing me new ways to be creative. Sounds like fun, YES I will give iti a go...
Beautiful piece. When I was in school bullying was virtually nonexsistant. Showing my age a little. When someone saw something developing it was reported and stopped before it could develop into something worse. Teachers could disipline, parents got involved, police if necessary. Not today it seems. Teachers are powerless, parents don't seem to care and police are either too busy or just look the other way until an actual crime is commited. I do make the bullies stop and I do ask why? I think you do to. I'm glad. You are correct it is up to us as individuals.
A beautiful work I say. You express my feelings exactly. I see this every day and it saddens me. The direction most of society has choosen. I see the single mothers, know many unfaithful fathers, The families during hoidays just trying to put food on the table. your writing evokes feelings of disgust for a society that as you say drops change in a bucket and clear their conscious. Reap/sow indeed.
Nameste
Cliff
p.s. Only a life devoted to the service of others can you truly be happy and fulfilled. In my humble opinion. I wish I knew more people like you.
Your poem brought back a memory from high school. It was a valentine dance, my first, came with two other fellows. It was a slow dance, girls choice. Suzie was outgoing and gorgeous. We were lab partners and she always needed help. Well I guess she was returning the favour. She showed me how to slow dance and I did my best. When the music stopped I thought she was going to kiss me on the check but instead she gave me a beautiful hicky that didn't disappear for a month. I don't know if that "peck" of yours was like my experience but that's the memory it invoked. Thanks for the memory.
Nameste
Cliff
p.s. my dating increased dramatically after that dance. I was the of every guy in school.
I have an upgraded membership. If I'm allowed, Where do I go to learn about putting photos and or text at the end of my outgoing emails??
I've been searching but can not find anything............Ahhhhhhhhhh
I really like your poem. Anger, hatred trying to forget painful memories, attempting to erase bad experiences.
I never tried to forget with drugs or alcohol. I saw milliions of people try and fail. In the end destroying their own lives and altering forever the lives around them, sometimes for good or not.
After my fisrt wife and two unborn children were murdered by a drunk driver I went inside myself for a year, no one could console me. During that year I actually began my spiritual journey. This is my way. Never could forget, an emotional scar that will never heal, opened time and time again when I see young couples and their babies. A scar that I cannot close but friends are there to help me, always.
Sorry. Your poem evoked a not so good memory, how could anyone know. I'm OK, don't
Just finished your lyric. I don't have the technical skills yet necessary to comment on those if any I don't know. It did seem well structured though.
You did touch me emotionally. I have felt the weight of depression but not for long. I usually help others remove that weight. For myself I have been blessed with a mind whose thoughts release me from such dark places. There are people "out there" you just have to look for them.
Hello. Fantastic. Truly an inspiration. I was transported back to my high school days. Grade eight. I remember one poor girl from a poor family, plane looking, average intelligence. First day the politics of social order estalblished. Seeing this girl being taunted by the "upper class" if you will did not make me angry but my soul felt sad that they would be so cruel. She had done nothing to them. She said, "goodmorning" and walked on. Now there is class I thought. First I went to that group and told them they could learn from her, they probably had no idea what I was talking about. Then I caught up with Joyce. What a beautiful soul, my first childhood crush. She had done exactly what you so eloquintly describe. Even though we live 3000 miles apart and have very different lives we stay in touch, connected if you will every time we look in the mirror. If I may I'd like to frame your poetry and hang it by my looking glass. ???
Just finished your poem. I'm no poet nor am I qualified to judge but I do know how your words filled me with empathy for the victims. I believe I am sane, and I cannot comprehend how any other sane being or beings could inflict such horrors on members of their own species. Beside the obvious mind disorders, physical or mental. I sit here and try to understand their state(s) of mind which compels them, but I fear I cannot. Holy wars, ethnic cleansing, the color of the skin. I do not know and can only guess. Very thought provoking, Well done, excellent, in my humble opinion.
I completely understand how you felt in that situation. As I begon reading I was curious, then as soon as you mentioned your little sister and how you felt about her, I thought, were you going to hurt her? Or was something going to happen to her. I'm glad it was not you. Falls and bumps are a part of life and little ones are extremely resilient. I konw from personal experience. I guess anticipation was my feeling while reading, what was going to happen next, nice flow. The time, place and setting made me feel like I was there. I can't imagine how you must have felt as she fell. I liked the fact that you did accept her as your sister, many only children do not. That stood out for me.There really isn't anything I didn't like here, except your sister faling.
Very memorable I must say. Unfortunately as you say not in a good way. Two memories came to my mind as I read your piece. Once back in little league I was taking my practice swings and didn't notice a team member who was standing too close, he shouldn't have been there. I heard a shout as I was swinging but before I could pull back, the bat hit this boy in the back of his head. Like your mom and dad my coach was the first one to act while I just stood there in horror. I was physically sick and threw up right there, I really thought I had killed him. But thankfully I did pull back enough and later Eddy joked with me about his hard head. I was still crying. We are best of friends and keep in touch even though we are thousands of miles apatr. Funny how something like that can bring you closer.
The other I won't dwell on here, even though it happened decades ago. We were both eighteen and totaly in love, soul mates if you will. Our future together was certain, so certain in fact that we had, well she had, twins in the oven,four months along, this fariy tale would not have a "happily ever after". Christmas eve two police officers knocked on my parents door. I was waiting for her there, she was getting that last minute suprise for me and didn't want me with her. My folks answered the door together. A very drunk drunk was out driving that night, you know how this ends. They said death was instantaneous.
You brought back so many emotions within me as I read this and thought of my own grandparents. From love to how mean I thought they were sometimes when I was punished. Then later realizing how right they were and I am a better person because of them.
I remember all the times I spent with them at their home, the cottage. The many trips we took to amazing places, your poem brings those memories flooding back like a dam in my mind that had held them back from consciousness for so long. Thank you.
I liked your uncle tim and his impressions, I remember grandpa Joe doing the same. Laughing now to myself. I wouldn't change a thing here. But then I'm reading poetry for dummies hehehe so there it is.
This poem will be very memorable to me because when I read it I am transported back to those carefree days I spent with them, excellent role models to be sure. I think they were for you also. You've also helped me with my poetry, the more I see the better I understand, thanks again.
I must have my wife read this. I love it. It is her all over, my wife that is. Only we have three cats in the closet, plus a dog. Your monologue makes me laugh and makes me sad. Happy because I am always entertained when my wife is trying to pick out that perfect "look" for whatever occasion she/we are going to. And sad because I'm always ready hours before and I know it makes her even more frantic. :(( The flow was good, you'd just have to ask my wife. The only difference would be the cats name, Noodle for us. This monologue's time, place and settings took me directly to my wifes "BIG" closet in our room. I'm still smiling as I type this. I liked the " No! Nuh uh! Nah! Ugh! " the best, my wife 's words exactly. I really wish you had gone on and on and on as my wife does and just when you think she'll never find the perfect outfit down the stairs she comes. Beautiful everytime and still she will ask me, "do I look ok?" What stood out for me was the realization that this scenario will go on forever. I wouldn't change a thing, just a few more "thoughts" as you get ready. memorable for me, YES. because I know I am not the only man that goes through this..:)) Thanks for the BIG smile on my face right now. Keep writing..
I'd tried it on for size and the fit was perfect. :) How long is your day? Mine is size 14.5 hrs. Your poem made me feel grateful because I help patients at a hospital as a patient care tech. No matter how hectic or challenging, service to others gives me a strength to handle anything. your poem brought these thoughts to me.
You held my attention from "Beginning to end". your thoughts flowed in me like a river, well done. The times, places and settings all worked together giving me a feeling of being there with you during your "very busy" day. More coffee please, heavy on the caffeine. I liked the flow the most. I wish you had continued until the alarm was set that night for the next morning, How did you relax, unwind. What stood out for me was your dedication. A memorable poem I will think about when I'm at work because even though the places are different many aspects of the day are very similar. Thank you for the wonderful feelings of service.
My first review. I enjoyed your poem immensly. It made me feel happy then sad. On a personal level I am an animal and enviromental activist, very spiritual. I have witnessed first hand the wanton slaughter of gods creatures and the total destruction of his heaven on earth. I am hopeful though and there are many like myself trying to make changes. Perhaps your poem, future poem(s) could include animals and a little hope for the times to come for our children. my attention was held from beginning to end. It made me think and feel of places I'd been, both good and bad. I am an introvert of the highest degree but now after reading your poem I believe I may start writing at last, at least you've given me a "push" thank you.
I look forward to reading more of your writings.
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