This poem was pretty simple. Nothing over the top but I think it really worked well for you. It gave it an honest heartfelt feel. It almost feels like it could be a song. The only thing I could even say is where it says:
“Hello handsome, how ya doin?”
How I loved to hear those words
The same old line every time,
But it was the sweetest thing I’d heard
just add:
The same old line SAID every time,
It just feels like it needs that extra syllable. It's not completely necessary and it's totally up to you. Just sounds like it makes it flow a little smoother. Other than that, I thought everything was well done and the end hit very hard.
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