Wow, this is probably one of the most spiritually thought- provoking poems I've read in a long time. How great is our God? He is great enough to cover our sins with his blood and to purify us through his death. He is indeed an awesome God full of grace. I feel your poem captured that perfectly, and I love how you used parts of Amazing Grace, because it is by Grace we are saved. We don't deserve any of the things he so freely gives, and your outcry shows that you take that to heart. Thank you for writing something so full of truth and posativity. Keep spreading his word! inky
I just wanted to say that this is a very nice piece. I know you were only following the prompt, but I admire the way you can take a comedic event (the president dressing like an old woman) and turn it into something beautiful and personal. You take the attempted asassination of president Lincoln and turn it around to portray your growing up and your admiration for his creativity. This is wonderful, really.
I think you could go alot of places with each of these leads
"I wonder if they ever have the thoughts that I do
Out of all the brilliant people in the world just someone…
I could share a thought with"
^
^ this was my favorite of your "leads". The sharing of thoughts is a personal thing, and with this one sentence you could build a character, an entire story. I can almost see a man of great intelligence, struggling to find someone with whom to speak and share, conflict and struggle seem to be born here.
"I hate looking in mirrors
But sometimes I can’t stop
And I run my hand through my hair like ocd
But He made me"
^
^ This statement I don't quite understand. Who is HE? Could you go more in depth?
"This girl doesn’t play hard to get, she is"
^
^ I just find this description amusing. Being a girl myself, well... Its just funny to see how a man views things.
"I have to press hard on the keys, I feel… old. At first. And my fingers are cold, which doesn’t help."
^
^ I'm not quite sure why I like this piece. The description is good. I don't really visualize a story behind it... it just seems like a lost fragment of something, but its nice.
"I like to drive where the sun flutters
Where the one I loves stops and mutters"
^
^ I don't really understand the second half, but stopping where the sun flutters sounds nice, and is a beautiful way of putting things.
"Bring me back a souvenir from nowhere"
"Relax for impact"
^
^ I like these two statements quite a bit as well. The seem like lyrics to a song or poem. They're pretty.
I like to imagine, and you have alot of great things possible here. Harness your creativity, and let me know if any of these things go anywhere because I would love to see them if the do.
I think that the whole Idea of a newbie contest is wonderful. I myself am a newbie, of three days. I would love to join one of these, and I've checked the Bitem formatting, but it still eludes my comprehension. Assuming I ever puzzle this out, all newbies be warned, because I'm up for a challange!
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inky