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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/indignantme
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Transformation  Open in new Window.
Review by IndignantMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
How does the old saying go? "I don't know art but i know what i like." and i like the idea of a mechanical butterfly. Made me wonder about what sorts of things take place during the larva stage.
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Review of Red Tide  Open in new Window.
Review by IndignantMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
This would be my first review on here so if it seems rough around the edges, that's the reason why. As a whole i like the overall idea of the story. Few places scare my like the unexplored depths of the sea's.
Your opening line caught my attention and set a feeling of unease from the onset. Past the topic i did feel a little lost when it came to trying to hold who was the 'young boy' or the 'old man'. Perhaps taking a moment to establish a description of what the characters looked like would help, something to better distinguish them from one another. I always did have a fondness for a character with memorably physical trait or mannerism.
I was particularly fond of the way you described the Magnus Pyga, bottom feeder or not the looming presence of a massive underwater creature makes me cringe. On the topic of the creature i think i would have liked to see you expand the presence of it in the story.
The one thing i did notice was there seemed to be a lack of Steam-punk material in the story. I just didn't feel the copper connection so to speak. Was the sub steam powered? Was the technology of the professor gear driven?
I would look forward to reading further exploits of such a sub and its crew of explorers charting the uncharted.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/indignantme