That was good. Though I don't much like swearing. I don't know. I don't really read adult fiction, I'm still reading teen and certain older children's novels. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.
Interesting obstacle - dandelions aren't your typical plot obstacle.
I kinda like it.
It's a really nice story. I love the pretty descriptions of the Vindhya mountain range. You did a good job in my opinion.
The little story within the story was very interesting to read. I've never heard Indian folk talks.
Though I see you changed your username. :)
You were very brave to put this out there. I loved the story - it was really good.
Spirituality wise, I actually find it rather rare to find someone who believes someone can be skeptical of God's existence, live a good life, and get to heaven or even just Purgatory.
I didn't like the fact there were a couple of swear words in there. I find that unless you are writing solely for yourself, putting swear words into a story is kind of rude because the audience you are writing for may not like them.
I don't know, that may be just me.
But I loved the story for sure!
This is a nice sweet introduction to your friend!
I think that sentence "Elizabeth first joined WDC in 2003, when she completed a short story workshop, which she enjoyed" is a run-on. Please shorten that, it sounds too odd.
It is a nice summary of your friend's life and hobbies.
I'm never really a big fan of being highly descriptive. I like to create an image in my mind. You're pretty descriptive, and it's almost over the top in my opinion. I'm not a professional writer, just an amateur, but what I read, I have difficulty reading books that don't have a lot of dialogue.
Maybe that's just me.
As for everything else, from what I got, I loved the story idea.
You have good grammer, and your writing is probably a lot better than mine, that's for sure!
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