I'm a fan of morality tales and the works dealing with the conscience, so I was happily surprised when this popped up in the review section. The writing is very good and the way you have the character explain things with his dialogue is clearly paced. I think this story can go multiple ways with a larger narrative and plot taking shape if you figure out where to take this character next. Four stars my friend.
I believe this first draft is pretty well written and the plot is growing with each word given, so the next chapter should focus more on the aliens as well the humans so you can flesh out both sides of the coin. The dialogue is well paced and I thoroughly enjoyed this first draft. Three & 1/2 stars my friend.
Being a fan of the crime genre and writing a few stories in the same genre, I find this piece intriguing. You used good wording, pacing the story rather well. I didn't see anything out of place and think you have a knack for the genre. An option for later works would be to flesh out your characters a little more, but other then that it's brillant. 4 out of 5 stars.
Would like you to view my works and review them as well since we both have a knack for the gritty genre.
I thought it was well structured and the characters we're fleshed out, but there is always room for more of that if this will be a recurring series. Seems very promising, could also broaden the world, peel back different layers with different heroes & villains. I enjoy works like this and would be more than willing to contribute and come up with ideas and stories if this was to be a ongoing series. I give this four stars, thought it was good. Feel free to check out my works.
This is well written and I throughly enjoyed the twist at the end. As for including more action into the beginning you could possibly show one of these experiments taking place and and maybe show the future August causing the events that occur when the pair enter the helicopter. I believe Julie is likable at this point, you should flesh her out a bit, maybe in the use of small flashbacks or something to keep her a constant happy figure.
You know I think this a very put together piece of artwork on a literary scale. You've taken the topic of destiny and have turned it into a masterpiece of sharply written words that make the story standout. I'm an avid writer myself and try to incorporate emotion into my own personal stories and see a little bit of my style in yours. I give this a five out of five for a captivating take on one's crossroads and destiny.
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