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Review by H.e.m. Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Overall, I like this piece, from the title > the insight & the format; my immediate suggestion is to limit the overuse of pronouns & conjuntions @ the start of each line. The piece will, I believe, be less wordy/repetitive, hence a better flow for the reader & take-on a more poetic/professional timbre. For ex.

He smiles at the others,
Wonders if he’s like them,
Never (was) born with himself,
He tries to find it.

Also, the overuse of punctuation @ the lines' end is superfluous... By eliminating/reducing all the aforementioned, you create enjambment.

H.e.m.-O'H'H.


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