Mistakes/Corrections/Suggestions:
(The first thing I, as a reader, would like to know is whether this part of a bigger series/longer story or not. Reason for that question is that obviously all these location names, that appear right off the bat, are not actual places. If this is supposed to be a story in of itself, you might want to try and introduce this new world a little better.)
"It was not the largest port city in the world, nor was it even the largest city in Acacia;"
While it is tough to say for sure, since there isn't really an informative introduction, it appears that Acacia is the country/or island in which all these cities are located. If this city is not the largest port city, a specific type of city, then it is clear that it would not be the largest of any type of city in the country. The way this sentence is ordered makes it read very redundantly.
"Like many Acacian cities its geography did not lend itself to the ease for which it was built, high cliffs and steep rocky hills..."
I think a comma is needed between "cities" and "its" and a semi colon is needed, where you have the comma, after "it was built".
"Every surface, from the roads to the buildings' facades was grey."
Comma is needed after "facades".
"Merchants, shady and otherwise haggled with longshoremen."
Need a comma between "otherwise" and "haggled".
The information contained in the sentence quoted above, ("Merchants, shady and...") and the two sentences following it could be condensed to two sentences to keep the read more smooth.
"Unlike the city Kara, which was labyrinthine, Portsmouth was a true maze..."
Labyrinths are generally regarded as infinitely more complex than mazes, so the intended meaning of this sentence comes off as a bit muddled. Also, the sudden name-drop of this new city is
a bit confusing.
"...those persons not possessing the 'gift' as he had come to think of it could easily be divided..."
I think commas are needed between "'gift'" and "as", and then again between "think of it" and "could".
The "gift" that you mention is nearly impossible to understand since you don't really describe it. Is it related to this "thing" that Skibbo asked Kaedon how he could see through? Is it how Kaedon is seeing through whatever that thing is? What does it have to do, if not one of those things, with the line of questioning he began? What is this gift? Telling a story, with these kinds of obviously important plot points and leaving them undescribed, can be very frustrating for a reader.
A few sentences after you mention that the thing is a blindfold, but this "gift" is still left in the dark.
"...he was as elusive about his agenda as Kædon was about his he thought."
I believe this was supposed to mean that Kaedon is thinking to himself that Skibbo is being just as elusive as he, Kaedon, is; but it reads a bit confusing. I think, at the very least, you need a comma between "was about his" and "he thought", but a little rewording could help too.
"...and a few small candles around the bar lighted the pub."
I believe it should be "lit the pub".
(Throughout the piece you indent on some paragraphs and then neglect to on others; the first sentence and then throughout the long stretch of dialogue towards the end. Paragraphs need to be consistently indented, it really hurts the appearance of the piece when they aren't.)
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Praises/Compliments/Accolades:
"He was a stout man, with thick red fingers curled around the handle of a pewter mug."
I loved this line; it is such a great description of this character, and you picked the perfect little nuances of his appearance to describe so that the reader could fill in the rest smoothly and correctly.
"'That's what I do with it, what you call it is yer own business s'long as ya git me another.'"
Sometimes a bit of dialogue jumps out at me as perfectly realistic and so well written that I can hear it in my head. Much of your dialogue, actually, is like that because it is written so smoothly as it would be spoken. This line, in particular, I liked the most so I thought I would point it out.
You have a great descriptive language that, when used in smoothly written sentences, brings the reader into the story as if he can see the setting instead of just be told about it. There are parts where this is not as strong, but you clearly have a bit of natural talent for it, and that's great because it's not a common, but it is important, quality in good fiction.
The dialogue, as I mentioned, is typically very well written and very conversational. It often feels like you must have overheard someone talking and written it down, rather than come up with it because of how natural it seems.
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Overall:
There is the makings of a very interesting and entertaining story here. The only problems of any real consequence that I see are the points of plot, setting and character that are under-described and lacking in proper introduction. The average reader will only try so long to read a story that has so many obviously important points left vague. With a little bit of work that issue could be easily taken care of though. You just have to take into account, when you are writing, that the reader is not going to know or understand the backstories and nuances of these characters and lands as well as you.
It is definitely a great start, and while I think it needs some work, if you continued the story I would almost assuredly continue to read it. Great job!
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