\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gruffalo
Review Requests: OFF
2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Childhood Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by Gruffalo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Very good! It's great to hold on to the dream and hold we must!

But consider this, is there room for more dreams - dreams that keep you going, seeking for the methods and means to reach for the "Dream" that has yet come to pass?

Now for grammar's sake...
the first stanza indicates possession yet there is no possession. Consider this option...
Other little boys, for childhood fun,
Dreamed of cowboy hats and a cap pistol gun

The third stanza
remove the comma between of and everyday..."is I all dreamed of everyday"
remove punctuation after "blue" and "everyday"

Again, keep dreaming.
2
2
Review by Gruffalo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Strangely enough, although there was no dust on the cover, the Word I had no allowed to penetrate my spirit. It wasn't until I realized that every prayer I seemd to be praying lately has been asking God to "fix me". Last night, I finally faced the truth of my spiritual problems, God can't fix a vessel that hasn't been broken and I was willing to be broken - for anyone including myself. I shouted to God for help and He simply answered, I've done what you asked, now you have to stop what you started. Your will is stopping you, not mine. Wow! I was just praying, " Not my will but Yours..."

Thank you for sharing this.
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gruffalo