Well, you definitely left me wanting more. I wish I could have gotten a bit more background about the gifted house and what would possess someone to make such an offer, how dilapidated the house was, etc. Maybe just a quick flashback to the gift giving part (back at the wedding maybe) but I still enjoyed the picture and can identify with the utter horror a swarm of roaches can give. I get that way when one gigantic palmetto bug makes it's way into my house. EEEk, is right!
This is a very sweet story and a nice skew on the usual telling of the tale. I like that you gave the pigs names but would have liked some physical descriptions to go with this updated story. I hope your son likes it too. Cheers!
I loved this piece because my natural assumption was that he was there to quit smoking and I only got a hint at the real cause when he leaned to one cheek in the truck. I know that move well, seeing it daily with my husband and for years with various other males in my life. It made me laugh out loud. Thank you so much for the wit.
This made for a very interesting read. I chose to read it because a popular TV show (a while back) used a main character, a lawyer, to have Asperger's Syndrome. I found that an intriguing thing for a main stream show to do - it was Boston Legal if you wish to know. The show and the character were, in my opinion, written very well. You never felt sorry for Jerry, the lawyer with the condition. In fact, by the end of the series he became one of my favorites. They portrayed him as a very intelligent and high functioning person. I know people who have no such diagnosis who don't do as well functioning. Ha. With your story you gave me a little insight into what it is like to live with this condition but I wanted more. I think you can dig deeper and really let us know just how different it is to have this Syndrome or condition. How does it make your mind work or is there a habit that you have due to Asperger's that is unusual. Your daily routine sounded average like any thinking kid in school. I've buried my face into many books. With all that said, I hope you keep writing and achieve your goal. Best of luck to you.
I have to say this piece made me nervous and I kept thinking "Stop, Fred... stop". That is a sure sign of a good story though so bravo to you. I gave you a 5.0 rating because I thought the writing was good, structure strong and the storyline had a nice build to it. The ending was a tad predictable in the sense that I thought it was going to happen and it did, but it was still a nice little chuckle and I was glad it ended there, before the tool kit came out again. LOL. Thanks for the read.
This is an exotically flavored and brutally honest story of what people do inside the walls of their own homes. One never knows when "the worm will turn" but turn it will. Thank you for sharing this story. I found it to read very quickly and while the subject matter is difficult, it was easy to read. Thanks!
My anniversary is also in May but after 20 years my husband always has to ask when it is too. Very funny!! I hope you remembered it when the actual day came unless of course you ended up wrestling a rogue Grizzly bear in that same park where you were mugged. Ha!
Hysterical!! I have long since observed my 7th anniversary but after 20 of them I've seen my share of sick and healthy ones and certainly the ones that don't come off quite as you had hoped. This is a fun little memory story of that event and I really enjoyed the easy style with which you wrote it. You have a nice natural voice. I have to admit - I was thinking of that same "seven year curse" during the whole read. Ha!!
Ha. This was laugh out loud funny but it could be so because I just "butt dialed" in horror an old flame that I have not deleted from my contact list of 8k, half of which I no longer remember. Okay so now that I stated the obvious - it's funny - I can also say that I like your voice, the one you used when you wrote this. It's clever, just smarmy enough for my taste in humor and it's not dumbed down for the reader who can't use half their apps. At Christmas this year the Smart Phone was the featured item at the dinner table. Children were kept busy letting their plants eat their Zombies and taking pics of cupcakes and sending them all over the planet. Google was used no less than 10 times to solve table side debates. Your piece taps into all that is wrong with that picture. I loved it. Thanks.
On a picky note, I'd strike that second "monolith" reference and come up with something wittier. Monoliths are only funny once. Just a thought. Thanks again.
This was a fun read and not only did I enjoy it, I related to it as well. I am the "mom" to two Great Danes who just wait for me to get up in the middle of the night. ;) I haven't contributed anything yet but I write about them often on other sites. I hope you get the opportunity to see one of my pieces soon. Roz
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greatdanish
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.24 seconds at 3:46pm on Sep 21, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
