I am so glad that you made the twist in which he stopped himself because she was underage.
I'm a grammar and spelling Nazi. Your spelling is quite good. You accidentally put a space between girl and friend in the word girlfriend. Second, you misspelled klutz. On the other hand, you really need to get a grasp on comma usage. In this short story alone, you have 9 misuses of commas.
All together, this was fairly well written.
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