I loved it. But I am confused. Is Ryan no longer a Paladin? Has Vivianca been changed from a demon to angel? Or have they merely been released from their duties to be together? I don't know. And to tell the truth, besides my frustration at not knowing, I'm not sure not knowing is a bad thing. This was a fun read.
I like the story. At first, I was reading it and thought that I was not going to care for it, but then you took the reader back to show how she got there. The only thing I am not sure of is the ending. I am not sure what is missing, but to me, it seems incomplete. Maybe. (And this is only spitballing,) She stays awake to find out if Dusty will be okay and then dies? Anyway, I liked it.
I don't have much love for instructional writing, I have always found it boring. Mainly because I would rather learn by doing I suppose. I say this to let you know I have no idea if this is well put together or not. However, you might want to look at paragraphs three and four. I had to reread them as at first, I thought I was repeating a paragraph at first. They both pretty much start the same in my eyes.
I really like this. Looks like a news article. Made me wonder if the follow up article would be that scientists have accidentely discovered a new form of interstellar communications using a form of morris code. Huge structures that could trap and then release the light of a star to send messages.
I like the story but you may want to read it through once or twice, I think there are a few confusing parts. I usually have to read through my stuff at least three times because I think faster than I type. Lol.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gndrat01
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 10:48am on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
