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Erotica
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Alone  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Hello Angus
You are one of my favorite authors here in WDC. I came by to read one of your horror stories.
I liked reading this flash fiction. It is well thought out and written neatly. I liked how it flowed smoothly.

My impression is affected by my personal opinion. I agree that there is peace in solitude and thought that being one with nature far from the crowd is the ultimate blessing one can think of. However, it doesn't seem to be so! haha
have a great day and write on!
Cheers from Egypt.
gladiola
Write on!


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2
2
Review of Maui Wowie  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Dear Jim,
I'm always glad to read what you've written whenever I come here to review. I searched for what you have written somewhat recently and found that one out. I chose it since it is personal and thought it would be good to kinda catch up with you and know a little bit about what you are doing.

I liked reading this since I learned about your lovely trip to Hawaii, a place on my list. I also loved knowing you had a good trip during thanksgiving. I'm glad you could achieve that and enjoy your time during that precious event. Making good memories is priceless.
Thanks for sharing and write on!
gladiola


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3
3
Review of Scales  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Hello Angus Author IconMail Icon
I am here to review "Scales" Open in new Window.
Please note that I am just saying my opinion and so please feel free to accept or reject my points. You know what works for your work.*Smile*

How did I come across your port?
I am returning the favor of reviewing me. And, I've read one of your stories before (weeen) and got scared enough to come back.

Why did I choose to review this?
I found it has 2 awardicons and the title grabbed my attention.

My Impression:
I love the story. The idea is original as I've never imagined such impact for a disaster. The effect on the people's health as well as the leaves color is creative.


My suggestion:
I suggest working a bit on the mood of the story using more description. I believe if you use description including senses as much as possible, it would be easier to "show" rather than tell. For example, if scratching or touching those scales made a certain sound, if the scales have some weird appearance and not just blue.

I also felt like the woman at the gas station didn't mind showing her full arm full of scales, which I doubt. So you may work on that a little bit to make the reader more squeamish as they read some details.

Anyway, the story is still a nice one to read. Please keep on writing and amazing us at WDC.

Write On!
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4
4
Review of Writing Style  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*




Dear Winnie,
Once again, I am here at your port reading your valuable pieces.

As I go through your port, I find that I am not here to help you improve, but to rather learn myself.

I loved this article since I believe I have that wordy awkwardness. I love how simplicity is better to the meaning rather than being complicated. The two examples you followed flowed smoothly and are straightforward. I hope I can learn to apply that to my work.

Thank you for sharing that. I am enjoying your port raid.
Write On!
gladiola


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5
5
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Dear Winnie,
As a comma class mentor, you have reviewed my assignments a lot. Now, I am here to return the favor and review your work. I will raid your port during your anniversary month.

I chose this essay because I wanted to see who you'd mention and be grateful for.

My impression:
I enjoyed reading your essay. It is food for thought. I think you were lucky to have such support when you first started here. I was surprised to know that as a newbie, you had no new background about writing. I know you as a mentor, so it is good to know that you've started from scratch here.

I agree that reviewers have great impact on newbies. I'm also very grateful to have had very kind and helpful reviews as a newbie here.

WDC is a very enriching positive community and we should strive for being that.
Write On!
gladiola


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6
6
Review of Earth's Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

Dear Jelly Fish,
I hope you are doing well. I am here to return the favor and review you.
I loved reading that poem about the Earth and how it defines her enemies and friends. I loved those friends that are living peacefully and are a source of beauty in such a wild and violent life. Your choices of animals are really so beautiful as each one is really innocent. It is so sad how man is the opposite of that beauty.
Please write on!
PS. If you wanna leave a comment/reply, please do so through my IM or notebook as my email is over quota


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7
7
Review of Summer of 1816  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


Dear River,
I am here to review your piece and return the favor.
I chose this one since I love non-fiction and the title drew me in.

My impression:
That's the first time I read or know about that. After I've read the first few lines, I was so much curious to know if that was really non-fiction, and -much to my surprise- it proved to be true.

I am from Egypt and our summer is pretty hot, so I thought that it would be wonderful having a year like that. I was rather shocked to see the catastrophic effects of such weather and realized that summer is a blessing. It is not so fun having cool and then cold weather and people starving.

I loved that you also mentioned how you came to know about it and the reason it happened.

For me, this piece is a valuable piece of information to know and something to make me grateful for the burning sun each morning.

Please Write and Review on!
Gladiola
PS. If you want to leave a reply, please do through my notebook or IM since my email is over-quota


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8
8
Review of Simba's Dilemma  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


Dear Jim,
I am here to return the favor with a review.

I chose this poem since it is newly written and I love cartoons and animals.

All I can say here is perfect. The poem is so interesting. The story makes great sense, and the movie names sound logical each time. In fact, sometimes I smiled at the new meaning you made by using a name. I could imagine Lion King and his fiends as e thought of them. It was also funny for me finding that we know common cartoon characters. LoL

The best part was the ending as I didn't expect that happy one.
It was a good poem to read before I hit the hay.
Write On!


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9
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Review of WHISPERS  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Dear Yellow Rose
You've always been there for me, reading what I have and reviewing. I came to read something from your account.

I chose Whispers since the name drew my attention and I love reading emotional poems.

I loved how it flowed freely and I loved those "whispers". In fact, I believe they are amazing wishes. I loved the great ending wish that one would walk knowing s/he is loved.
I loved that simple but interesting poem.

I noticed you've been away for a while. I miss you and I hope you come back soon to this community to continue giving.
Much Love and write on!
gladiola
PS please reply in my notebook if you wanna leave a reply as my email is overstorage.


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10
10
Review of Listen  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Dear Yellow,
I'm here to review this piece and return the favor. I loved reading your poem and I chose to read it because it was categorized as biographical in which I am interested. The story is really true with little kids warned and are too young to really understand our wicked world. I could relate to this too much and remembered a similar experience when I had opened the door, but I was lucky enough the stranger wasn't dangerous!
I also loved how you still remember Julie and thanked her. That's neat!
Write On, dear!


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11
11
Review of Ouija Board  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hi TJ Marie
I'm here to return the favor and review one of your pieces.

I chose this one because the title captured my attention and I wanted to know what it was about. I've read about the ouija board before, and since I've never seen it in real life, it remains a mystery. I think ouija is a good choice because the sky is the limit to what scenarios may happen when it is used.

I would just like to bring your attention two points and I hope you find them helpful.

The first one is about the story structure. I find that ouija board had stated a certain destiny for one/ all the girls (we don't know), but it ends with minor losses and weird stuff. I believe ouija is associated with weird incidents, but I don't find consistency between what the ouija board spelled and what we eventually saw happening. This looks a little like a little imperfection when it comes to the story structure as we didn't find the conclusion to have everything pulled together for the reader to understand, and the conflict resolved.

I suggest you may use it as a starting block for a longer piece in the future where there is room for improvement and enriching your scenario with more possibilities and consequences. You may also think of another move or spell for the ouija board to fit the ending.

The second point is "When they are made it to the kitchen" , I think the verb should be "have made" .

Overall, again ouija board is always interesting and specially when it affects a piece of jewelery making it distorted or any worse fate and I sincerely enjoyed reading your story. My suggestions are merely what an amateur suggests and it is entirely your piece to modify or keep as you wish.

Most important,
Write on!
12
12
Review of Ouija Board  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)

Hi TJ Marie Author IconMail Icon
I'm here to return the favor and review one of your pieces.

I chose this one because the title captured my attention and I wanted to know what it was about. I've read about the ouija board before, and since I've never seen it in real life, it remains a mystery. I think ouija is a good choice because the sky is the limit to what scenarios may happen when it is used.

I would just like to bring your attention two points and I hope you find them helpful.

The first one is about the story structure. I find that ouija board had stated a certain destiny for one/ all the girls (we don't know), but it ends with minor losses and weird stuff. I believe ouija is associated with weird incidents, but I don't find consistency between what the ouija board spelled and what we eventually saw happening. This looks a little like a little imperfection when it comes to the story structure as we didn't find the conclusion to have everything pulled together for the reader to understand, and the conflict resolved.

I suggest you may use it as a starting block for a longer piece in the future where there is room for improvement and enriching your scenario with more possibilities and consequences. You may also think of another move or spell for the ouija board to fit the ending.

The second point is "When they are made it to the kitchen" , I think the verb should be "have made" .

Overall, again ouija board is always interesting and specially when it affects a piece of jewelery making it distorted or any worse fate and I sincerely enjoyed reading your story. My suggestions are merely what an amateur suggests and it is entirely your piece to modify or keep as you wish.

Most important,
Write on!


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13
13
Review of Run for Freedom  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Dear Yellow Rose,
I am here to return the favor and review this poem. Although I am usually not a fan of free verse, yet I liked this poem and I think it flowed well. I loved the story conveyed with this strong mum decided that it was time to put an end to this. I loved her assuring tone as she spoke to her child and how she explained that they would finally enjoy every aspect of their freedom. The mom was really doing a great job convincing her child that they would actually be better off rather than crying in distress and helplessness.
The message is a strong one. Yes, it is hard to end relationships, but when they are destructive, then they have to end. I hope people never get to experience that.
Write on!
Gladiola


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14
14
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Hello Jeannie Author IconMail Icon
I am here to review "Terrifying night in Manchac Swamp" Open in new Window.
Please note that I am just saying my opinion and so please feel free to accept or reject my points. You know what works for your work.*Smile*

How did I come across your port?I am returning the favor of reviewing me once before. You go all around WDC offering in-depth reviews and I am glad to review you now.

Why did I choose to review this?I am coming for a non-fiction Power Raid and also it was great to find a story about a haunted place that is yet non-fiction.

Wow...really wow! Your story is mind blowing or I must be under Harold's spell as well. *Laugh* I mean in spite of the fact that I am in a reviewing marathon, trying to review as much as I can ASAP, yet I kept reading this twice slowly and meditating and imagining each part.

Both times, I was keeling over in laughter when I read this line ‘One day I’m gonna die, and I’m gonna take all of you with me.’ It really sounds hilarious to take those we hate with us when we die. After all, why should we die alone..what a logic? I kept laughing at this mean lady so much.

I can't deny that the moment you began to see that shadow and you were not sure if it was true or out of fear was a creepy one for me. You surpassed the horror fiction stories with a real one.

I enjoyed reading this and reacting with it. I love Harold's quirky character. Thanks for an interesting read!


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15
15
Review of Breaking the Seal  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello drifter Author IconMail Icon
I am here to review "Breaking the Seal" Open in new Window.
Please note that I am just saying my opinion and so please feel free to accept or reject my points. You know what works for your work.*Smile*

How did I come across your port?I came to review you in return.

Why did I choose to review this?I am in a non-fiction raid so I have to choose something that falls within that category. A funny incident would be a great thing to read.

First of all, I have to confess that this story made me laugh and that is not an easy thing. Once I imagined Zelda acting like a seal and making a whole fun out of that thing while acting serious and asking how he'd care for it and more details about the seal, I felt I joined the fun. It was as if I was among you in that day. In fact, after I've read it and found out she was joking, I felt she was like a loveable character to work with. It is essential to have funny days and it wouldn't do any harm. This was an interesting story to tell.

My only suggestion here is about the story cover which is a cat. I suggest changing it to a dock, truck or any relevant thing other than a critter that doesn't belong there. Roafffff

I enjoyed my time here. *Delight*


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16
16
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)


Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon
I am here to review "The Greatest downfall of Modern Society" Open in new Window.
Please note that I am just saying my opinion and so please feel free to accept or reject my points. You know what works for your work.*Smile*

How did I come across your port?I came to return the favor of reviewing me before.

Why did I choose to review this?I am in a non-fiction raid and the subject you write about here is a very vital one.

Once I read the title of this piece, I needed to know what you thought to be the greatest downfall. I love how you discuss the hardships many citizens face regarding medical services and their prices. It is hard breaking to read about those trying to make the prescription last longer by not taking their doses.

I live in a developing country with great neglect about healthcare and I have met people who don't have enough money to see a physician so they just go to the pharmacy and say their problem and have the medication they can afford (knowing that it is allowed to dispense almost all medications without prescriptions).

I have few suggestions:
Spelling:
" their medical issues take longer thenthan that to resolve."
" These this means fewer people will "
" so what to(about instead of to?) the people do who have a choice between eating and medical services. "

The second suggestion is not saying the answer of your question (the title) in the short description and to keep it for the reader to find out when they read your piece.

Anyway, it has been an important thing to discuss and I hope the day comes when nobody falls between the cracks when it comes to medical services.

Write On!
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17
17
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello Sum1's In Schaumburg Author IconMail Icon
I am here to review "Friends, People I've Met On WDC" Open in new Window.
Please note that I am just saying my opinion and so please feel free to accept or reject my points. You know what works for your work.*Smile*

How did I come across your port?Hey Sum1, just a review for the WDC Power Raid.

Why did I choose to review this?The raid is about non-fiction but also the topic is quite an attention-grabbing one. It is great to write about those we meet here in this loving community and how they encourage us to write on and improve.

I loved your poem with the different people mentioned and how each of them has his or her own importance in your writing journey. It was a happy moment to find myself among those mentioned and I am grateful for your help and encouragement whenever I felt so bad. The poem flows smoothly and in the end I love your call for the reader to review and to write on!

In the end, I wanna thank you for your endless efforts to help and encourage members over here and the time you dedicate to run Anniversary reviews and to review members yourself. You are an asset to this community that we can never do without. Wishing you the best!


Write On!

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18
18
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello Fran 🌈🧜‍♀️ Author IconMail Icon
I am here to review "Young people and social exclusion" Open in new Window.
Please note that I am just saying my opinion and so please feel free to accept or reject my points. You know what works for your work.*Smile*

How did I come across your port?I am coming to return the favor of reviewing me for my account anniversary month.

Why did I choose to review this?I love non-fiction and this subject in particular is close to my heart.

The topic you write is so important. I believe in the link between social exclusion and not practicing any sport since I have experienced that. Ever since I was a young girl at school, my parents never enrolled me in any sport and I had my class mates play different sport and travel abroad for their championships. When I was young, it didn't matter to me and even my parents thought they were missing time in which they should study, but as the years passed, I see my parents were wrong. My friends (as you pointed out) were better when it came to making decisions, employment, self-confidence and socially.

In fact I couldn't agree more to the important of sports and teaching a kid to be a good sport, to go and impress the audience and not feel devastated if after doing their best, they are not the winners. I love seeing the championships when they raise the flags of the countries from where participants come and how sports mean a lot to countries.

In fact, I loved your essay for the fact that you did extensive research to have it done and because the author, yourself, is a sportive and you know the obstacles people from different backgrounds find when they wanna participate in sports and the impact of sports on the individual and the community. I enjoyed reading the article and hoping Britain succeeds in making sports available to all and taking it to elite levels.


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19
19
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)


Hello Yellow Rose Author IconMail Icon
I am here to review "Encouragement for Writing" Open in new Window.
Please note that I am just saying my opinion and so please feel free to accept or reject my points. You know what works for your work.*Smile*

How did I come across your port?
Again returning the favor of reviewing me for my account anniversary.

Why did I choose to review this?
The idea of emoticon contest seems cool.

I loved many things about this poem. It is inspiring and encouraging to write. There comes a time when each one of us feels he has no more ideas flowing in his mind to write about but I love the simple, yet practical and realistic methods you give to help out with such case. I loved how each emoticon was the right rhyme in the line and your choices really rock.
It is a cute cool poem and I enjoyed reading it.

Wishing you lots of ideas to write about always.



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20
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Review of Love Not Sympathy  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello Yellow Rose Author IconMail Icon
I am here to review "Love Not Sympathy" Open in new Window.
Please note that I am just saying my opinion and so please feel free to accept or reject my points. You know what works for your work.*Smile*

How did I come across your port?
I am here to return the favor and review some of your work. You always make my days with reviews specially at my anniversary month and I am honored to review you as well.

Why did I choose to review this?
The title caught my attention, since it is real love apparently. I believe in the difference between love and sympathy and your poem discusses the real love.

This poem is a real beauty. I was feeling stressed and nervous before I read that but the beautiful imagery of that place with the nature together with the man-made touch and the richness in colours is magnificent. I loved how in addition to all that there was a helping hand. It seems like heaven and it is a place where every person would love to go.

I enjoyed reading this poem indeed. I could sense true love and kindness and compassion rather than sympathy and feeling sorry for others.

Your poem has really a relaxing effect on me and I am sure it will affect many readers. I enjoyed reading it out loud.

The only suggestion I have is
Giving shade and had benches for a resting places (ommit the "a" before "resting".)


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21
21
Review of I See You  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Hello Angus Author IconMail Icon
I am here to review "I See You" Open in new Window.
Please note that I am just saying my opinion and so please feel free to accept or reject my points. You know what works for your work.*Smile*

How did I come across your port?
I have found your item among those items requesting reviews at WDC power reviewers.

Why did I choose to review this?
I love horror and know that you have your own taste when it comes to creating a new horror story.

That's a quick review about my first impressions. What worked for me in the story was that it is quite straight to the point with no unnecessary or vague descriptions/hints. I could imagine this boss looking wasted and having something wrong with her. She is like us when we get exhausted so that gave it a true feeling.
I have two observations that made me less vulnerable to the shocking effect of the horror stories.
1) Using mirrors and specially bathroom mirrors has become very common in many horror movies and written stories, so you may be able to come across a better alternative for that. You can go through other shiny surfaces for example and try to find a better option.
2) When you said there was her tormentor: this made me like prepared for the creepy news and thus I avoided the mini heart attack I had when I read weeen. So I guess you can try to modify that so as to say it without warning the reader beforehand that the creepy twist is about to be there.

Those are my only pieces of advice to polish the story and make a stronger version out of it. I love the idea of that tormentor, specially that is sounds sadistic to be scaring oneself. I think you can go for a longer version of this and show different adventures with that "tormentor" if you can still come out with some more ideas. All in all, I enjoyed reading the story. I am heading to bed and the idea of recurring dream doesn't sound like a good omen. LOL

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22
22
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello Sum1's In Schaumburg Author IconMail Icon

It has been a long time since I have last read your work and so I am elated to come back and read what you've written recently.


The poem is about a real hard experience, especially when it comes to precious ones. The last line in each verse is true and it is really so hard when we come to feel how we are so unable to do anything for our loved ones. How is he now? Has he made it?

I was rather not sure about these lines
*Clapper* "We’ve been so patient, feel we’re due" should it be "feels" in stead of "feel" if it is supposed to be "it feels like we're due". I am not sure but I felt something may need a second thought here.
*Clapper* Also the line saying that things are dicey like chess. I used to know a little about chess but according to what I know, is that it is a very organized game that needs a lot of focus, so dicey won't be the best adjective when it comes to chess I guess. You can use any other rhyming words like mess, distress or whatever according to how you'd like it modified.

Overall
I believe the poem is a nice and simple one. It reminded me of few personal experiences when I was standing helplessly in front of a loved one and hoping there was something I could do to save that life. I am sure it would hit a nerve for many readers and yeah life has its hard moments. *sighing*

"So someone else’s tragedy,
Will be our miracle, the key
He needs a heart, there are so few,"
*StarY* My favorite lines and the great ending. What she needed for him is scarce and rare. Good job in expressing that tragedy.





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Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)

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Hello Tim Chiu Author IconMail Icon

I like your philosophy I must say. We feel angry about some things we keep getting more and more angry till we feel we reached the bottom.
A well said line is "Never has this human being suffered such bad luck." That is truly how we feel and suffer.

"Feeling in my heart of hearts that life cannot be fair." I believe that yeah it is really true. Life is not fair but that is the way life is, so we can't change that.

I love the mature conclusion at the end that supporting one another and giving selflessly makes life much better and enjoyable. "Sacrifice and selfless giving adding to life’s beauty." Giving brings so much joy and it gives our life a meaning.

I love how you express your different experiences and conclusions through poetry delivering precious messages to the reader or sharing their experience. You did a good job in conveying your point of view.


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Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)

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Hello Tim Chiu Author IconMail Icon

I am glad I got to read your poem, not just to reciprocate your reviews to me but also because the poem is actually so good.

During this economical struggle, it is very hard to get jobs. People struggle and hope they find a good job. Today most people (myself included) worry about what the future holds and about their finances.

There have been certain lines here that struck a cord, which are:
*RibbonP* "Superior drive can be pure consternation," That is so true.
*RibbonP* "At their mercy and whim, so unable to fight." This line is my best. I experienced that and know that you have nothing to do really about it other than wait till they call you, not even knowing for how long. It is really so insecure and threatening and adds to our woes.
*RibbonP* "a new time to fret," Yes we fret and fret.

Suggestions:
"To any employment and pay you might earn," Do you mean (pray) not (pay)? If not, then I don't get this line well.

Overall:
I believe the poem is a well-expressed one about modern worries of every person and how it is hard getting job in the working nations. Everyone wishes to earn money and fulfill their dreams, and it is the sickening truth when some fail to achieve that by possible means. I hope the economy thrives again and job opportunities become available once more.




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Review of Sweet Dream  Open in new Window.
Review by gladiola Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)

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Hello iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
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I could feel the romantic calm image here, surrounded by the beautiful nature (moon and see). I could feel the sense of celebration (music) and could feel glad that love was recalled.
It is an interesting small romantic thought that is expressed through free verse poetry. I think you may add more romantic thoughts to it if you feel any but I also know that poetry is only about our feelings so it should not be restricted it anyway. I just mean follow your heart. *Smile*
Nice handle by the way, horses are cute and loveable.

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