No one is an amateur in poetry. You have expressed your feelings well and believe me to be without a friend to trust is a real sad experience. A true friend is a gift from God that we all don't get in this life but when we do we have to cheerish them. Seek solace in God who is always next to you and is the one true friend you can trust as he loves you just as you are. Your attention to rhyme was almost perfect so you have shown that you can express your feelings and still make it rhyme, the sign of an experienced poet. Well done poet.
This is a perfect confession to God that I certainly can relate to. We are all sinners and try as we may we fail all too often. In my old age I thought I could keep the devil at bay but I'm weak and fail too many times, We have a mercyful God and I hope He gives us all the grace necessary to be with Him when we die, He has promised that His grace is more than sufficient to get over what ever the devil can throw at us.
Keep praying and I'm sure the good Lord was smiling down on you when you wrote this marvelous poem to Him.Always in Christ,
George
This is a perfect poem of praise for Jesus Christ our Lord and our Savior.It is a wake up call for all us sinners to get down on our knees and repent of our sins. Thank you so much and may the Lord richly Bless you with His Grace.
Your mother was a very wise person and it has rubbed off on you. The people who make fun of you are the ones who have a problem and not you. Ignore their ignorance. Having a disability in life can be a struggle but when you keep working at it things get better. You are not a quitter and I admire you very much for the spunk you have shown. May God continue to bless you with real friends.
A very nice story but your sentence structure needs a little work so that the story moves a little more smoothly. It gets abrupt and choppy in spots which if you read it carefully you will spot what I'm referring to. Keep at it, you have a natural talent for writing that I wish I possessed, and with some work can really shine. Don't be satisfied with your first write. Go over it and eliminate superflous words and try to have each sentence flow into the next. Just some suggestions, as I'm far from a good writer but I can recognize talent when I see it Thanks for the gp's but they are not necessary I have plenty.
An eye opener of a poem. Great thoughts for all to ponder and do somethig about it. Who have you passed by today and didn't give a nod or a hello. I know we are all busy and have much on our minds, but once in awhile look around and the scene may surprize you. Great write and welcome to The Silent Helpers Group.
This short story is a masterpiece of writing and took me by surprise after reading some of your poems. You have captured the essence of life so succinctly and with beautiful imagery throughout. Many people much older than your tender years have tried a life time to find what you have found in your very few years on this earth. You have a natural talent for writing and I would encourage you to enhance it by further study. I would enter this short story in as many web sites as you can as it is marvelous and deserves all the accolades it will undoubtedly get and give you encouragement to keep writing. I wish I had some of your talent but at 81 years of age I doubt if I ever will. I have to stick with the talents God gave me and some that I have honed.
I almost get the feeling you are a child in this melancholy write. Dispair is an endless pit that for some reason many people fall into at some time in their lives. Yes, they do need the help of an unstanding person and not seek death as their only escape. Your last sentence sounds encouraging and I hope some one reads it before they end it all.
With a little more effort this poem could have been turned into a poetic gem. I would have liked to see you carry the rhyme througout the poem and pay a little attention to the meter. Don't get upset these are just suggestions and I know with prose one doesn't have to be held to the constraints of meter and rhyme. The composition of thought was excellent but the format was not to my liking. I have to read a few more of your poems to see if your style changes.
A poignant write on a tragic event that leaves the heart and mind in tears. Yet life goes on and one must face the reality of this loss and painful as it is, start life anew.
A masterful write and I feel your pain.
Great introspection on the why's and wherefor's that life washes up on our shores. Like the endless waves that search for a shore to call home and finding it keep searching; for life is a gift given by God, how we live it or add to it only we know the answer. We are the waves in life, tossed about by the storms we encounter but always seeking the calm after the storm, always seeking a love that can be borne by the winds of time and find a home in our hearts.
In such a manner dainty. The word dainty does not fit.Perhaps you mean daintily.The sentence so slow, yet swift are opposites and contrdict each other.All the worlds secrets it holds, in its veins flow smoothly. I believe if you change in its veins they flow smoothly. It will make more sense.
Try rereading your poem several times, looking for the imperfections and you will produce a better poem. We all make mistakes and don't always see the obvious until someone brings it to our attention. atry getting a spell checker for your computer, it helps a lot.
The poet takes you into his own view of eternity that seems to me in his imagery, a place one would not want to spend anytime in. Indeed it sounds like what hell would be like.
The poem fits the picture like a glove. Love the way you bring out the imagery of the leaves and weave them so beautifully through out your poem.
Lone Wolf
Remember the mind rarely ages, it is not like the body. I am 80 years old but I still have the mind, thank God, of a twenty year old. Your poetry comes from a romantic heart that I hope always will serve you well with your love one and never be hurt. I was blessed by God to have a loving wife whose life I shared for almost 50 years before she died.
You should write more ,you are blessed with the gift so use it.
Lone Wolf
Didn't expect the ending. You nack for free verse in telling a story is beautiful. I would liked to have seen you write this in rhyme but either way it's a winner in my book. I wrote a poem called With The Wind As MY Consort so we are perking on the same wave length. Keep writing you have much to tell, I can just feel it in my old bones.
Sometimes we can't let go, but when we realize we can, we can always fall back on sweet memories of a relationship that was not meant to be. Your free flowing style and your expressive thoughts put to paper tell a me you are a true romantic. Nice write Julie, Liked it a lot
The reality of what you have written can easly be understood
by lovers that find their love has grown cold and distant but somehow still clings in their heart .
First I would leave the F word out of the poem, it doesn't fit in with the way you are expressing yourself. Your lyrics pull at the heart strings and with some good music this poem can come alive. It would have wide appeal with the girls that can relate to it with their own personal experience. If you have misspelled words on purpose, ok but otherwise run it through a spell checker and clean it up.
I saw my son suffer through 2 to three migraines a week. It cost him a good job. They lasted for about a year. He went to every high priced Dr. that N.Y. city had but got no relief. He tried more different kinds of medicine and none gave any permanent relief. Then suddenly he went for periods of two or three months without a migraine. But when they returned they were worse than ever. Happy to say he is now in his seventh month without a migraine and my prayers have been answered. I hope yours will subside and disappear as my sons has.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.13 seconds at 10:23am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
