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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gerflounchy
Review Requests: OFF
27 Public Reviews Given
27 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Hello & welcome to ger reviews! I'm here to read your work with attention, presence and care. I love to float on the flow & rythm of writings. If there are any snags or confusing currents, I will let you know. I'm perhaps not the best at advanced grammatical and structural errors, but I can usually navigate these issues fairly well. I look forward to discovering your writings! And, until then, may the winds of inspiration guide your travels.
I'm good at...
Rythm, pace, flow
Favorite Genres
Eventfull, lightly humorous
Least Favorite Genres
Long descriptive, eventless
Favorite Item Types
Fiction (but non-fiction can also be great)
Least Favorite Item Types
Non-fiction (but sonetimes I love it)
I will not review...
Nothing
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by ger Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I really like the rhythm of your writing. It feels broken up into chunks and fragments, making me alternate between reading in bursts or taking forced pauses. It kind of feels like having too many thoughts in my head.
2
2
Review of A Box of Weeds  Open in new Window.
for entry "The Goddess" Open in new Window.
Review by ger Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Sounds like she desperately needed some adventure in her life. Nice story!
3
3
Review of A Box of Weeds  Open in new Window.
Review by ger Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I like the creepy focus on the cheese. I just want to know:why the cheese?
4
4
Review by ger Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
REVIEW REQUEST: Mother Kombucha - Prologue

Hello! Thanks for offering this service, I'm looking forward to reading your comments!

Here is the introduction and prologue to a story I'm working on. I've gotten to chapter 3, but would like to know whether or not the beginning is captivating. I'll be happy to have any feedback you care to share.

Mother Kombucha is a lightly fantastical story of adventure, thrills, and romance.

I hope you enjoy it!
-ger

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#2175386 by Not Available.
5
5
Review by ger Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Haha very cool! Good idea for a story, I think it deserves to be elaborated.
The fact that it's only dialogue is interesting and feels relevant to the concept. However, I think it makes some parts confusing. I'm not always sure who is speaking: the burglar, the 'hero', Siri, Alexa, the police phone responder... I also got confused with the introduction of Alexa, is this the human or another A.I.?
I do think that the all-dialogue story is a good idea, but some things that are said seem unlikely. When the burglar enters and the main human character keeps talking out loud, it seems that they should instead be thinking or at least whispering. Maybe this could be implied in the dialogue, like "shh siri could you at least whisper" or something.

Hope this helps!
6
6
Review of The Drift  Open in new Window.
Review by ger Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Awesome! I really enjoyed this. Is he mad or is the snow truly after him? I like the ambiguity. The movement of the snow is good, as well as the character's defense of the cabin.
The descriptions are great, but there are some I don't quite get:
- Feverish hysteria - fever makes me think of being hot from sickness and hysteria is "crazy", not sure how it applies to the heat.
- unmarked grave & pus - I felt that this part lost me. Why an unmarked grave more than just a grave? Who's grave? Why pus? Again like sickness (fever) but of the body whereas the character is more concerned with sickness of the mind.

Hope this helps!
7
7
Review by ger Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Ashes, how's it going?
I like reading your stories. It seems to me that you write from feeling rather than thought. Something is carried on your words yet isn't quite said, and I enjoy it.
I think it could be possible for you to use even less words - to thin out your writing. The feeling would be transmitted more easily, without needing as many precisions.
Looking forward to reading more!
-ger
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