I really did laugh when I read this. And it's astonishingly short, just as you promised.
I like how in the beginning it seems serious, but ends on a light note.
The "A billion hearts" part is unclear though-- it seems unrelated. What do you mean
by "A billion hearts?" A billion hearts of what? Of whom?
The "woe is me" is understandable-- it is a result of the fart. But woe to the billion hearts? Why?
It just seems random, unexplained.
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