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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/genius0312
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16 Public Reviews Given
68 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Let Me Go  Open in new Window.
Review by cerial Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Lots of feeling that is overwhelmingly genuine. But is a bit cluttered with all the please let me go's. So, I dropped them, moved a few lines around,(to deal with the actions moving, feeling, seeing etc) and added a line*. I never "edit" but thought it may help. Just my opinion.

I know now that what we had wasn't real, it a was game.
I know that what you said wasn't your heart, you tricked me.
I know I can't go back in time and wish you away, you still haunt me.
I know I can't wash away the pain with these tears, you injured me.

I am empty and my soul is on fire
I am standing here, with my life in turmoil, you don't love me.
I can't stand to live like this always having you on my mind
I can't run away fast enough, because you are in my heart and my heart won't let go.

I am still waiting for the phone to ring but I know you won't call.
I want to leave this dark place.
I am trying to live day to day but your memory still lingers.
I can't walk away from you

I want to shed your lies.
I need to find my inner peace.
I can't fool myself any longer.
We were never meant to be.

Are you missing me yet? No you're not.
When You're with her do you see my face? You can't see me.
Are you living your life without me? Of course you are.
When you are lonely do you wish for me? You won't let yourself.

*Still the thought of you lingers*
I need be free from your chain
Please, Please let me go
Just Let me go.
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Review of Bullet  Open in new Window.
Review by cerial Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This was great. Interesting all the way through with no lag. And packaged very nicely. I don't see how it could have been done any better. You get my first ever 5/5 review. And a couple gp's.
Great Job
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