A Disclaimer: All the comments are generated from my personal interpretation and spontaneous impression. As the author of this creation you are the sole and ultimate judge of what is best for your expression. I shall be very glad if my views can be of any help.


Title:The title directly focuses on the metaphor the poet chooses for her predicament, the dread of either death or depression dislodging her anchors of life. The title works well for the composition.

Form:The form is free verse that suits the ebb and flow of the mood wonderfully.

Impression of the Idea: : I see a ‘doubling’ in the idea of ‘Segmentation” and in “crumbling Foundation”. The same dread of ‘cracks forming under immense and continuous heat’ is reflected in formation of both the ideas. This is the image that is sticking to the author’s vision itself, projecting the terrifying image onto any scene the gaze alights upon. It is like looking out from behind a screen containing an image of things crumbling in dust particles in high heat.

Thematic Suggestion: The ant is a metaphor here for a ‘small, segmented, flighty’ existence. If one can push one’s entity in a metaphoric ant, one can also push it into something else, which is more enduring, like, the Sphinx in the desert. It gets defaced, scarred with the passage of time and at war with an inevitable decay, but it is there for some more time than an ant fighting against that metaphoric cone. The gaping predator at the vertex needs our assistance to be recognized as such. It is said, that the world is like a valley surrounded by mountains. If we shout ‘Empty”, it reverberates answering “empty”; if we shout “solid”, it will return the echo –“solid”. As the Science tells us, the universe is neutral in itself. If negativity, or the void, or the gaping predator at the vertex, exists, it has definitely caused an equal condensation of positivity somewhere at its end. The oppressive heat of the day is not a continuum; it is broken by a spell of nightly coolness. If transience is true, how come destruction is the last word? That would be a contradiction in terms, because destruction is transient too. This is what I believe, and you, the poet, always have a choice, even in choosing your own metaphor for your life's challenges.

Description:The description picturesque and graphic. The segmented ant, the cone, the dislodging sand particles, the physical pressure of the heat, which is the metaphor for relentless press of time- everything has contributed to recreate the frightening vision in the psyche. The restiveness or restlessness, the visible struggle of a person having a nightmare of a vision is admirably pictured and transmitted with crystal clarity.The mirage of the monster being split into two, the predator and the victim, when the poet contemplates suicide incites empathy.Not only depression, but bugs and their maddening persistence at existing is the be all and end all of this composition. Also blowing this annoying quality out of proportion and concentration on that fact create the whole point here.

Style of writing:Very simple, it seems like a confession.

Kudos and Applauds: The end, finding a crack to escape through, and the acknowledgement that there are cracks in the armour of this depression.

Areas to work on:Putting in other metaphors to add sturdier levels to this vulnerability, and finding more positivity that lies out of the field of vision.

My favourite expression:

A Disclaimer: All the comments are generated from my personal interpretation and spontaneous impression. As the author of this creation you are the sole and ultimate judge of what is best for your expression. I shall be very glad if my views can be of any help.

Title: The title of the poem breathes a freshness, may be working on the association of ideas with Springtime.

Concept and The Underlying Idea: The very opening line heralds the breeze through spring verdure. the concept is a pure form of celebrating the sense of touch and sight; and keeping a sleeping hint of hearing. I can almost hear the whispering of the palm fronds! The welcoming warmth of nature invites all sparks of life, be it birds or insects to a feast. Even the city asphalt cracks up to the new blades of grass.The warmth welling up into summer is chronicled in the last couplet. Wonderfully done!

Form: You have given a note tethering your poem a s a haiku series. Every tercet is a complete entity making a string of kindred spirits. I am charmed.

Impression of the Idea: Nature at its teeming vibrancy.

Grammar and vocabulary: No question of such mundane things enters my head now. It is too full of...fluff now!

Description: Description is the heart and soul of this poem.They are microscopically minute and blessed with a certain empathy with the little things in nature.

Kudos and Applauds: Delicacy of touch and bringing out the beauty of haiku.

My favourite expression:



Please write on!



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A Disclaimer: All the comments are generated from my personal interpretation and spontaneous impression. As the author of this creation you are the sole and ultimate judge of what is best for your expression. I shall be very glad if my views can be of any help.

Title: the title is direct in its approaching the subject matter. At the least, it is appropriate.

Concept and The Underlying Idea: It is a kind of personification of an old bench. It seems to brood over its bygone days in the time of coming winter.A melancholy time, but the fragmented scenes of passing life as the bench remembers allow it a new glimpse of that flow of life.

Form: You mark it as Wrapped Refrain. I find three sestets, where each couplet inside it rhymes independently and not even the refrain containing lines repeat a rhyme scheme. The first part of the first line of each sestet is repeated in the last part of the last line of the same sestet. It is complicated enough but you seem to carry it like a breeze!

Impression of the Idea: The idea is good, as all nature themes are perennial.

Thematic Suggestion: The theme apparently concentrates on the human season than on the actual one.

Grammar and vocabulary: No suggestions to be given.

Description: The descriptions of the passing scenes are powerfully and economically done. it suits the purpose perfectly.

Style of writing: the tone is conversational and languid. The words are not jarring, the smooth flow of the phonetics is soothing to the ear.

Kudos and Applauds: The poet has found the right atmosphere and tone to suit the poetic form.




Please write on!



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A Disclaimer: All the comments are generated from my personal interpretation and spontaneous impression. As the author of this creation you are the sole and ultimate judge of what is best for your expression. I shall be very glad if my views can be of any help.

Title: The jester or the Joker always brings in an association of the opposite, tears held behind laughter, or violence behind a joking calm. Since Charlie Chaplin, we have our expectation gone even higher. This title has touched upon all the check marks and the content fulfils the promise.

Concept and The Underlying Idea: The real feel of the stage, lights obscuring the audience and making the performer feel unattended is underlined here. The feeling is here amalgamated with a performer's insecurity about impressing his audience. The other layer of giving a moment's happy oblivion to those who had received Death's summons almost weighs us down with human tragedy.

Form: There are ten quartets having a rhyming scheme of aabb ccdd eeff etc. The long narrative style suits the form well.

Impression of the Idea: The idea has a span of life trailing into death and each night the audience changes. This change reverberates as an inevitable passage. To light up moments of those passengers of life is a terrifying task set for one who will have to produce jests.

Thematic Suggestion: None from me.

Grammar and vocabulary: I have spotted nothing.

Description: The description of 'hair' falling is accurate but a bit starkly personal. The next line is quite ok in that respect. As I commented before,a bit of impersonal element can secure the distance of the poet's subjectivity.

Style of writing: the poet catches the insecurity of a performer before marked out preys by Death. The seriousness and the slow steady movement of the poem is befitting.

Kudos and Applauds: The poet has quietly assured the right atmosphere.


Areas to work on: nothing to suggest.

My favourite expression:



Please write on!



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A Disclaimer: All the comments are generated from my personal interpretation and spontaneous impression. As the author of this creation you are the sole and ultimate judge of what is best for your expression. I shall be very glad if my views can be of any help


My Impression:This is for readers who are already familiar with the woes of publishing, having first hand experience of frustrating pitfalls.


Style: The style is open,tending to be argumentative, allotting a little less time for definitions and detailing.The style tends to be compact, often compressing sentences and phrases and omitting joining words like'that'to achieve the effect of a businesslike approach..


Tone of the composition: The tone is conversational and racy, I feel like listening to a rich information laden lecture which has been allowed an inadequate time limit.


Unique Feature: You shared your experience and experiments in publishing with the aspirants and endeavored to offer genuine help which may not be found in numerous seminars and web contents.

Grammar : Conversational style of the piece has introduced both short pithy sentences and long winding ones forming very complex syntax. This is different from a 'written' approach of a non-fictional composition where every sentence demands clarity and an even space for the explanations such a composition has to give. Please pardon me for giving examples, but I find them necessary here.
1. "The first book ... stuff": too long, the syntax is confusing and resultantly, the purport of the sentence is obscured and puzzling. Another sentence like this is: "Somewhere in the mix.."
2. In the fourth paragraph, the sentence "The reality.." can be rearranged as 'In reality, when a book written by an unknown author is offered for free on Kindle Direct, it receives only a handful of downloads, and though a small number of subscribers are available, they hardly open the book actually.' It is what I was trying to say, the informative essay needs explaining, even if it is not intended for the uninitiated.
3. Words like "whereby"are anachronisms. These were almost always used to abbreviate the play of words in a legal sentence. This results in hampering the flow of writing (and reading) seriously, putting the sentence into a straitjacket of sorts. For example, I could use a 'whereby' or a 'herewith'to transform the last two sentences in a succinct unit, but challenging the ease of the reader's comprehension. Going back over to decipher what one just read is not something that encourages the reader.
There are some phrases which are omitting some word-component, and thus jar the reader's attention, like 'reveals Wikipedias'(entries?), cut-and-pasting' (Doing a cut-and-paste job?), "thinking give-up' (Of giving up?).
"Having ....one" is a piece of flowing talk, not a sentence.
A paragraph can never start with a 'which' and not give the precedent clause. There is also a confusion, is it "Book Banzai" or "Book Review Banzai"? I do not know the word 'Banzai', I would like an explanation to perceive the connotation, if any.
There are other confusions too. In the sentence "It adds credence to the author's claim that when it comes to acceptance by BookBub's 'editors', it really is a numbers game". Now all these"it"s! I am sure they all mean different things, but about what those are, I have no clue.
Only one paragraph is directly attempting to state the "Banzai Technique", which this writing is supposed to be about. It confesses to be 'Part' of the technique only. We are kept guessing by nouns unexplained by adjectives, like 'spreadsheets' and 'data'. Add one 'what?' before each of them and explain for the layman, if necessary.

I expect you to have already guessed that something is missing here as you asked me to review it. I tried to give you a detailed view of the lesser important things that might have robbed this piece of its due readership. The piece of sound advice from a published author is much too valuable for us.


Command on words: Usage of words is appropriate and adequate to serve the author's purpose.

I am willing to revise rating if you choose to edit it.


Please write on!!

A Disclaimer: All the comments are generated from my personal interpretation and spontaneous impression. As the author of this creation you are the sole and ultimate judge of what is best for your expression. I shall be very glad if my views can be of any help


My Impression: I happen to know that you have to circumvent a bunch of letter related words in producing this. You have selected an emotional topic and attuned the plethora of synonyms to your tone. I think this is a subtle and enjoyable touch. .


Style: The style is open, apparently artless. In recounting an emotional past there is also a remarkable reticence. Nothing is overdone..


Tone of the composition: :The whole composition is full of memories that are being reinvented. The tone at times seems to match feelings of a return to the sibling rivalry of yore. Grief is not the main focus here, so the sobriety is becoming.

Message that touch the heart:How a father-child relationship can revive powerfully after such a long time..


Unique Feature: The even tone. It remains unhurried and honest in an amused way..

Grammar : No slips caught my eye.


Command on words: The use of the thesaurus is by quite a practised hand! .

My Favourite:" I sorted out years worth of words." {c:indigo.


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