I enjoyed the story, but the format seems to be a little odd. It seems as though sections of the story aren't included. Is this a draft to be fleshed out at another time?
Well written, with some excellent drama and detail. The dialogue is realistic. There is an almost gothic element to the descriptions.
The story does feel a bit incomplete, as though there is more story to be told. It seems to start and end in the middle of another tale. Something like this would fit well into a series of related short stories.
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