This story seems a lot like an online roleplay. The character is interesting, yet the very stereotypical online roleplaying type. The story is very familiar... Guy at a tavern, shrouded in mystery and the token black coat, lurks in the shadows, etc. it's been done over and over again. I'm sure you have better stuff in you than that.
I'd run spell check on this. When you change a verb ending in 'e' to an action verb, be sure to drop the 'e'. Like in 'choking' and 'dodging', which are both misspelled in your story.
You have talent, but you may want to brush up on some basic grammar and really stretch you imagination. What you have is a good start and i think with some more work, you will have a very interesting story.
write on!
-Tegan
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